Yesterday, we made plans to visit Las Vegas’s hotels that display extravagant and beautiful Christmas decor. We set a time to get-together with another couple (my husband’s pseudo-family), but we got distracted and failed to call the other couple in a timely fashion to let them know we were running late. My husband asked me to call and warned that there’d be “drama.” I called and apologized and laughed explaining that we didn’t realize it was so late, but before I could even finish an apology, the wife interrupted by unleashing a tirade about ruining their day, ruining their plans, etc., then hung up on me. Wow! Silly me, because I thought the practice of hanging up on someone, was, “So junior high!” but this retired woman is nearly a half of a century late for bringing-back the immature behavior.
But……. that wasn’t the first time. About eighteen months ago, the wife (very much a stranger at the time) pulled the same stunt, yelling at me, unleashing her verbal venom that began when I returned her call. Her prior message neither indicated it was urgent or life-threatening, so when I did call her back within a couple of days, she began her tirade with, “You’re so selfish, Jennifer for not calling sooner, you’ve always been selfish and it’s no wonder why people think you’re selfish.” Clearly, she has control issues in that she does not maintain any effective filters or maintain self-control or consideration for the damage she causes during her rantings. Bless her daughter-in-law who explained that they take the high-road because it costs to much to be involved when the wife is mid-metamorphosis into Wifezilla. No wonder they limit their contact! We’re not even actual family, so my guess is that everyone gets their “fair-share” of the woe-man’s mean-streak.
Return to present when my husband heard yesterday’s call because it was on speaker. He got an angry message from the husband shortly after Wifezilla ranted at me and said he’d wait a day to call. The whole thing should not have been a “thing,” but the way she yelled and spewed, one might think that the world ended. Good grief – it was a plan to see some Christmas lights! I received a call this morning from the husband, saw who on caller ID, but before I answered, I prayed and asked God over and over to allow cooler heads to prevail. I was never angry, just a little irritated that this was even an issue in the first place. Our call was friendly and he said they’d cooled off (thank you, Lord) and when he paused, I took the opportunity to express that our intent was never to “ruin everyone’s day,” we were distracted, I was sorry for not calling sooner and that I hoped we can all get past this. I am thankful that the husband called and used clear thinking in this situation because Wife’s habit of dramatic histrionics is over-the-top and unnecessary.
I place emphasis on the point to avoid getting caught up in irrelevant, nonsensical situations like this. I learned from various experience in the past, that stress is very much a catapult to an MS retrogression. Once I learned to not allow various stress triggers into my thought-patterns and over-all-life, my health improved. It became simple to “not play a culprit’s game.” Yesterday, when I didn’t react to the woe-man’s theatrics, I did myself a favor and at the same time, I did not give in to the not-so-enticing temptation that Satan dangled before me, and therefore honored God. I did take the high road and that isn’t to praise my own self-control, but to convey the necessity of recognizing one’s stress-triggers. Learning to recognize and control these triggers by walking away from them or choosing to NOT engage in them, is essential especially for family / friend gatherings. Remember gatherings are supposed to be celebratory and by giving in to engaging in nonsense, we take attention away from the focal point.
Because I am away from my family in Washington through 2013’s holidays, I am so grateful for the years and years of family birthdays, Thanksgivings and Christmases. I miss my family terribly and I think because of this silly situation, I am even more sensitive to NOT allowing irrelevant crap take the spotlight from the reason for the season. A few days ago, I wrote the entry “Filterless.” Today’s entry piggy-backed on “Filterless.” Appreciate and love your families to the fullest. Don’t miss an occasion to share that you love your families and friends and don’t waste the opportunity to apologize if needed as there may not be another opportunity to do so. Thank you for reading. Have a very Merry Christmas!
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