I’ve been in the middle of using those critical thinking skills and I think because of my tendency to analyze and reanalyze in all numbers of equations, those skills only become more and sharper to more quickly come to reasonable conclusions. I’ve been very blessed these last 10 years. Rereading that number is incredible because I had to use a wheelchair from ’01 to ’05. 10 years ago I was able to quit using a wheelchair. Wow! I’ve tried to never take for granted what I have because this disease could easily and without notice, remove a number of abilities as it did in years past. The abilities to walk, run, see, swallow and void without the proper tool for example are some things that I could not do for a number of years, so when I could do them again, I’ve tried to always remain grateful and Praise God that those abilities were returned to me and that I still have them 10 years later. The high temperatures of last summer challenged my MS. Obviously we’re months beyond last summer, but I wonder if it’s possible that the high temperatures continue to have a lingering effect on my current state.
I saw my neurologist yesterday and while I was in the waiting room I played an iPad game. Being left-brained, I’m always playing games during which I mentally analyze a number of things that do not have anything to do with the game because I can play the game on ‘automatic pilot’ therefore allowing myself to think on other issues like determining if I’ve created a symptom or whether it was already a symptom. As I was matching tiles, I noticed a feeling in my leg that I hadn’t experienced in years. Numbness and tingling. Then I disregarded what that feeling meant and continued playing. The nurse lead me to a room and I noticed the feeling again. A bit later on my way home from my neurologist’s, I was unsettled about the whole numbness episode because although I was conveniently at his office for an appointment, it seemed he was too quick to prescribe a new bout of treatment. I signed the okay to move forward because I just wanted to get home. I didn’t bother to turn on the radio while driving because I needed to pray and concentrate on what a new treatment might mean. At home I immersed myself into tasks that needed to be done before the weekend began and finally, the dam broke and my eyes sweat (I cried). When I once again acknowledged the unpredictability and reality of my disease, I researched the suggested drug and failed to see any endearing qualities so instead of filling the prescription, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing with exercise and diet.
10 years ago when I got better, I desperately needed a reboot and I quit taking the 13 symptom-chasing drugs that my prior neurologist in Washington kept prescribing for me because I needed to know if those were still necessary. When I quit taking all those drugs, I almost immediately noticed that I felt better. Feeling lucid and NOT feeling like a zombie or I guess what I assume a zombie may feel like, definitely feels better. The list of 14 side-effects of this potential new prescription from my current neurologist included 7 issues that MS currently gives me and upon further reading, those issues would likely be exacerbated with the new prescription! “hmm Let me think about this… gosh, everything sounds very enticing and like something with which I think I should definitely take some risks,” said no reasonable CrusaderJenn EVER. As I’ve already been down the road of drug cocktails and symptom-chasing, I’m content to wait this round out. I understand those who see my decision as foolish. However, please take a moment to understand that I was diagnosed 20 years ago and from MS years 7 through 12, my MS symptoms covered many of those who have a more progressive form of MS. I doubted my own longevity back then and I recently found out that my family also doubted that I’d make it to 30-years-old because my relapsing-remitting MS progressed so badly and so quickly. But God did heal me and here I am 10 years later.
I am a big fan of Pinterest and here’s the link to my MS board. I have to read this board daily as it provides me with a mental boost and some inspiration to keep Fighting the Good Fight.
http://www.pinterest.com/CrusaderJenn/ms-battling-multiple-sclerosis/
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