I’ve missed writing the last few weeks, but my absence gave me a much-needed opportunity to reevaluate my blog as I’ve continued reading several that I follow.  Most blogs are treated as an appropriate means of communicating information, ideas or suggestions, recipes, life, or health challenges, etc. and I want to applaud those who successfully maintain their blogs with consistent posts and varied topics. The past weeks I’ve been discouraged, unmotivated to write and actively trying to understand what has been pressing on me about my blog.  When something is unclear or “bugging” me, I address it in prayer and ask God to reveal to me whatever “it” is and God will often cause me to think of something in a direction where my mind was not even going or cause me to recognize something about myself or something I should pray for family or friends in the midst of my daily activities.   I was focused on blogging about MS, but it’s obvious I must steer this in another direction because I want to be a source of encouragement, but there is only so much I can address without sounding like “Debbie Downer,” so now I’ll add life observations, situations, challenges how my faith makes a difference in approaching those factors.      

In reading other blogs, I have a concern with reader responses and more specifically blog-following individuals who fail to use or recognize their pre-existing Common Sense Filter prior to responding to a blogger’s post.  A friend’s blog addressed her struggles with her children who both have autism and somehow a reader thought they had the “right” to stand in superior judgement of why it’s my friend’s fault that her kids have autism.  Really?  Yes.  This foolish person had the audacity to blame my friend for her children’s autism, but it was humbling to see this “expert” had the time to preach and condemn my friend!  My hope is that last statement in Italics reeked of my second language, sarcasm, in which I am exceptionally fluent and when life provides a plethora of material for me to work with, it’d be a shame to waste my “gift.”  

To the autism expert, if my friend is that lacking in your obviously perfected level of parenting autistic children, you might consider offering helpful suggestions rather than judgement.  In John 8, Jesus sees a massive crowd looking to stone a woman for adultery and the crowd is essentially waiting for Jesus’s permission to begin stoning the woman, when instead, he says to the crowd who are ready with rocks in hand, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”   The crowd dispersed and when only the woman and Jesus remained, He said to her, “Neither will I condemn you.  Go and sin no more.”  

The parallel is that it is so easy for strangers like you to anonymously respond and judge, without any clue as to how life could be living with any number of life-altering conditions like autism.  Please consider that parenting is challenging enough on its own, so I can only imagine how even more challenging to add a disability to the equation and then also challenging are hecklers like you only screaming, “You’re doing it wrong!!,” instead of offering helpful guidance.  Parenting is an ongoing learning process.  Remember the saying, “You catch flies better with honey than vinegar.”  Perhaps in the future, you should research, write a draft but don’t post it, read it a day or two later, take your own inventory and reflect on whether the immaturity, judgmental and hurtful rhetoric was necessary opposed to the help that you clearly failed to convey.  I suspect, during that time of reflection, your eyes may be opened and that is where the Common Sense Filter kicks in and instead of posting another harshly inappropriate response, you hit delete. 

I hope that you recognize your response to my friend was unquestionably out of line.  That said, I’ve finally arrived at my point for this post about grace, which is to show mercy, favor.  God shows us grace on a daily basis and because of that, I believe that you responded emotionally, instead of rationally.  That is grace.  You did nothing to offend me personally, but because I saw that there was that missing element of common sense for you, I hope you’ll apologize to my friend, although forgiveness actually requires no confession from you in order for her to forgive you.  My prayer is that she will forgive and never give your actions another thought.  Grace.   The exercise of love, kindness, mercy or serve another.  

I had an experience at a party.  An individual asked me a question that ranked in tackiness up there with, “How much money do you make?”  I was shocked that they obviously felt like the question was appropriate to ask a stranger, let alone okay to ask at all.  There was zero hesitation or “filter” on their part.  The next morning, as I considered the question, I was reminded of another experience while in our home-town, in a small group.  I was a stranger in a group of believers.  Being new, I shared my testimony.  Testimonies are personal and are never debatable because they are so personal and involve personal experiences or events that ultimately lead individuals to make the choice to follow Christ.   

One individual saw my testimony as opportunity to anoint themselves as my judge and jury.  The individual was immature and even more immature in their  faith.  Not one person questioned them when sharing their own testimony that included failed marriage, but apparently like myself, there are many who value their Common Sense Filters that may prevent them from saying something inappropriate.   I forgave the individual’s ignorance, but I’m ashamed to admit that nearly ten years later with the recent situation and being asked such a personal question, I felt on the defensive.  I replied, “Enough.”   That feeling was from the enemy because I had no reason to feel protective or defensive.  However, the individual accepted the enemy’s temptation to be a nosy-Nellie and I gave them grace.  The following morning, I told my husband what this person asked and my husband said, “That was very inappropriate, but that’s where we have to give them grace.”   I am in no way patting myself on the back because I am also a work in progress on the road of following Christ.  Instead of responding to them in an equally rude way, I gave the person grace in a brief response, but have also kept them consistently in prayer because the individual is immature, but more important, they are a newer believer and my actions may be influential.  Grace.