Archive for category toddlers
I went to the doctor…
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, Faith in the Midst of Illness, family, health, Inspiration, invisible disease, Jesus, Living with Living with Multiple Sclerosis, Living with MS, Living with Multiple Sclerosis, Maintaining Faith, marriage, Multiple Sclerosis, prayer, Stress and MS, toddlers, Uncategorized, Women with MS on September 15, 2022
First and foremost, I am not a doctor so everything I share should be taken simply as my own experience because it is not a professional opinion so never use anything I say as medical advice.
I had to check myself in to our local hospital a month ago because my doctor advised me to after all the recent blood tests came back with not so favorable results. (I was diagnosed anemic two years ago with a level 10 Hemoglobin. My physician at the time had me add an iron supplement into my diet to get me back on track and six weeks later I was declared “cured.” My level was healthy again.). Fast forward almost 2 years later and apparently the anemia is still active.
Generally speaking a normal healthy female hemoglobin level is 12 -15. (My hemoglobin red blood cell carrying oxygen) was dangerously low at 4. People can flatline at 3. So, I’m kind of a walking corpse. Nice. My love of zombie shows, movies and Spoiler Alert, I am a zombie. Minus the groaning. I went to the ER and although the ER gave me 3 units of blood and I immediately changed my eating habits from living to eat to now eating to live, like lots of spinach and red meat, my body is weaker than ever.
The last several months my husband immersed himself in research, looking for answers and asking, “what is going wrong with my wife,” as he worried I was wilting away to nothing. I was busy teaching and doing activities with our daughter. I was not by any means in denial about my ill health. I just didn’t want to deal with more stubborn-ass doctors with predetermined diagnoses. Perhaps I should have found a different doctor. My husband has been aware of the excessively heavy menstrual bleeding for a while. Being someone who tries to keep some things private between my husband and I, the thought of sharing my nightmare was on the horrific side. But I think he figured out some things when he heard me in the bathroom cursing at inanimate objects (pad failure). I should have invested a small mint in Kelly Clark. Because feminine products could have arrived in trailer shipping containers with the rate I was going. Understand I had to be prepared!
You might consider this fair warning to stop reading if you have a sensitive stomach or become queasy at the mention of blood.
But here’s what happened in the six months following the cured declaration. I stopped taking iron and I got weaker and weaker, thinking i was fine internally but because a doctor never said anything, I figured I was getting worse each day on my way out because of some other unknown culprit. That’s not suicidal. It was just a realistic acknowledgment that I thought I’d l ikely be gone before end of year with my list of health issues and all doctors pointing to MS before even asking questions or giving me the opportunity to explain my symptoms. I went to more than a dozen different doctor appointments in last 12 months asking questions and not one took the time to write up lab orders for blood tests because they already had pre-formed ideas or assumptions for what was going on. MS, anemia, osteoporosis… But what I consistently explained to doctors was that I’ve had MS almost 30 years and my symptoms do not physically feel like MS symptoms. And look this up docs, the symptoms are different and consistent with anemia. But because MS is the “bigger” health issue, no one has bothered to leave MS alone for a moment and focus on only the newer symptom stuff.
For example, I went to a lab appointment last spring and stepped out of my rig, and felt that gushing sensation (not urine, but menstrual blood) and got back in my vehicle to promptly return home and discover there was indeed an accident. A big one. Blood all over the back of my jeans. I just might need that truckload of supplies on an ongoing basis. But goodness, the truckloads I had to use. I got used to bleeding every 2 weeks with these obnoxious clots and assumed it was normal with getting older and probably indicative of menopause. Oops. That was yet another of Jenn’s misdiagnosies.
I made another appointment with my OBGYN and told her what was going on and after she examined and did some tests, she suggested uterine fibroids. She initially mentioned fibroids a year ago. I thought they might eventually go away. Oops. My bad again. The fibroids got worse. B also discovered with anemia, that might be the culprit when he came across blood disorders, anemia and fibroids in a search with bucketloads of responses, he said, Let’s make an appointment.” I needed a referral so I saw the first available physician at my clinic to get that referral.
But this time around at a new PCP, the physician I saw was different and she asked a lot of questions to understand how I determined I needed a hematologist referral. Because of my weakness in walking, I requested that B join me and he always provides wise insight as I explained everything going on. I explained my symptoms and that my weakness was increasing and I needed something to help me get better. Like today. A key component of this, that I didn’t realize was relevant is the fact I had some very very very heavy bleeding each month. And the fact that my periods lasted about 10-12 days apiece, and had a not so typical schedule of starting every two weeks, not 28 days. I was clearly bleeding about 24 days of each 31 days. Problematic. My body has been losing way more than it can possibly replace so it’s seriously no wonder that I have little strength to walk anywhere without losing my balance or falling. I can’t bleed one week each month like a normal woman. I have to bleed up to 24 days. About a year ago I gained the extra 10 days as my period bonus round. So, mathematically I was bleeding more than I wasn’t each month.
Back to the OBGYN who mentioned fibroids last year at my annual, but my failure was to not research or take it seriously. Those hell-raising fibroids are precisely why I’m anemic. She denied the possibility that anemia had any involvement with the uterine fibroids issue. One thing she did correctly was to give me a couple of referrals for surgeons. But the failure was her stating there’s no correlation between anemia and fibroids. But the surgeon said the fibroids and anemia typically go hand-in-hand. And when I was in the hospital, the physician asked if my periods were normal. Nope. They immediately scheduled a pelvic ultrasound to take a look at my abdomen, and see what they could see. Low and behold, there was something, but only doctors share the findings . The hospital suggested I make another appointment with my OBGYN. But instead, I got a call from a cancer surgeon a few days after I left the hospital. The scheduler said, “You have a mass” and scheduled an appointment with one of the physicians a few days later. Apparently there’s a reason receptionists are not supposed to say anything about anything. I shared with B what was said and between my family, friends and church, we likely have had close to 1000 people praying for me. The term “mass” leaves much to the imagination and by my own uneducated misunderstanding of a great many things, I figured I’d be dead before the end of the month with the mention of a “mass”.
We went to see the surgeon and she immediately examined me, said my uterus is the size of a cantaloupe, and went into scheduling a hysterectomy and she never mentioned “mass.” I asked if the mass would also be removed with the fibroids and hysterectomy. Is it cancer? I think she was confused and said she’d be right back. As she looked at my chart as she walked back into the room, she said, “there’s no mass, there’s no cancer.” Praise God! Because my level of worry made me sick. Literally.
Here’s the other screw-up…. The whole process of going to the ER, filling the prescription, taking the prescription, only to realize when I finally reacted with an allergy five days later from the blotchy skin, that I had hives despite the warnings all over my profile at the hospital as well as the pharmacy that I’m allergic to the primary ingredient in that particular iron product. It’s really a comedy of errors at this point with stinking everything becoming something. So it really has not been unreasonable to anticipate my life being over shortly by something ridiculously silly like a known but ignored allergy.
When I called the pharmacy and asked about the ingredients, that employee apologized immediately because she said they shouldn’t have sold me that and asked me to get some benedryl immediately to counteract the allergy. Everything else has gone wrong, so why not this too?!? The sales employee saw the flag, got a supervisor to override the allergy flag when she looked at it and the supervisor ignored the flag and sold it anyway. My poor husband. He was pissed that the pharmacy missed the flags. Then the supervisor called me and she apologized up and down after my husband had a conversation with her. I think he made her an offer she couldn’t refuse. Kidding. B never loses his temper when he is communicating a frustration with anyone. While he doesn’t yell or make a scene, I’m confident he shared his grave concern of the employee repeating her egregious error with another customer.
I guess God isn’t done with me yet. Because there were several opportunities in last five weeks for Him to figureatively “pull the plug,” yet here I am… thank you, Lord. The hysterectomy is Friday and I’m anxious to report what happens next.
Here we go…
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Bible, Faith in the Midst of Illness, family, Football, fun, Grace, health, Inspiration, invisible disease, Jesus, lifestyle, Living with Living with Multiple Sclerosis, Living with MS, Maintaining Faith, MS Fight Club, prayer, Relapsing Remitting MS, Stress and MS, toddlers, Uncategorized on November 14, 2021
This happens every year. This year I think the inauguration of Autumn baking thoughts happened when our daughter and I were watching B carve Halloween Pumpkins for our little family. But dancing skeletons evolved into dancing sugarplums. Or perhaps it was watching Charlie Brown’s great pumpkin that evolved into musings of pumpkin bread Christmas.

I love the distraction of post-Halloween plans. I mean I put up a few decorations for Halloween, and I think some decor is fun for the Holiday, but I see some people do an overload of focusing on evil and finding that humorous. For example, each year the neighbor behind us picks some dark theme and decorates accordingly. This neighbor is technically not on our street. But the upstairs master bedroom has a deck/patio that can view our backyard. Some years ago, with the rere-lease of It, for Halloween, the neighbor hung a massive decorative sheet from his upstairs bedroom patio so everyone at the end of our street, or anyone who dared take a detour down our street would have a clear leave nothing to the imagination view of Pennywise and all his bloody-faced glory, having no regard for little ones who might be traumatized by seeing a glimpse.
Unfortunately, when another neighbor asked them to take it down and to keep in mind those little and innocent trick-or-treater’s eyes who should be protected from seeing that, the neighbor saw himself as a self-appointed messenger doing everyone a favor and said, “Mind your own business, besides kids will see it eventually.” Lord, have mercy! We had the displeasure of seeing that nightmare one Halloween, but thankfully on the flip side, those same neighbors have not used their back deck since then to hang anything.
Now, I am not trying to portay myself as an innocent. I read Stephen King as a teenager and an early twenty-something, but my time reading dark literature was satisfied after I finished It. My late Granny took all five of the grandkids (I am the oldest) to the circus every year as youngsters when Ringling Brothers were in town, so I grew up liking clowns. However, the novel about Pennywise changed my appreciation of clowns and they ceased being fun. That novel really changed my simplistic view because apparently, clowns are not always happy.
Who can explain the nonsensical ramblings of a Jenn? Certainly not I. And that may or may not have any correlation to anything, When all of a sudden, my little brain thinks snowmen, more specifically, giggling about Olaf’s sweet ignorance of being a happy snowman in summer. And then there’s the fragrance of cinnamon inspired goodies like baking gingersnaps, pumpkin bread or snickerdoodles! Yum! Maybe it was because we had a short ‘bout of cooler temperatures, that reminded me of winter, though I’m about three weeks early… which then inspired me to think snowflakes again and cause me to bake because why wouldn’t I associate gingersnaps with autumn? They go together. Then winter solstice and just a few days later Christmas? Or maybe it was when my 2-year-old handed me a book to read her – the story about how that green thief who stole Christmas.
Praise God for all these distractions with my surgery coming up so there’s zero opportunity to fixate on worrying when I know God’s in control.

One year ago…
Posted by crusaderjennblog in adoption, Babies, Bible, debateable, Faith, Faith in the Midst of Illness, family, Football, fun, Grace, health, Inspiration, invisible disease, Jesus, life, lifestyle, Living with Living with Multiple Sclerosis, Living with MS, Living with Multiple Sclerosis, Maintaining Faith, marriage, Marriage Encouragement, MS, MS Fight Club, Multiple Sclerosis, Nervous System, Neurological Conditions, news, prayer, Relapsing Remitting, Relapsing Remitting MS, Stress and MS, toddlers, trends to consider, Uncategorized, Women with MS on November 7, 2021
My PCP diagnosed me with anemia. A few months later, I received the hypercalcaemia diagnosis from my endocrinologist, quickly followed by an Osteoporosis diagnosis and put on a drug that might cause me to lose a tooth or two. I want to be off that drug ASAP. Despite all the cumulative crap I’ve been dealing with since ‘17, I finally have a sliver of good news to share.
My endocrinologist at my July appointment basically threw-up his hands and said he’s sending me to an ENT because my symptoms don’t match my numbers, but he believes there’s something indicitive of a tumor, although the thyroid and parathyroid ultrasounds and nuclear medicine tests revealed nothing. My downward spiral of symptoms going from a pretty healthy patient (minus the MS) to going straight down a toilet as my gait in just a few months became that of a 90-year-old trying to be purposeful with each labored step.
Last weekend at church, as I walked to my vehicle and I heard someone behind me and glanced back to see who it was. The older gentleman has always reminded me of my late grandfather and I stopped so he could catch-up to me. He said he had never seen me walk so slow. I laughed and asked if it was really that noticable. Then he went on to explain how he’d always seen me actively chasing the little ones all over and then said he was keeping me in prayer. I tend to be guarded about sharing anything specific, but last Sunday morning, I was confident that the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to share with a few people at church that I was scheduled for surgery December 15 for a pararthyroidectomy.
My endocrinologist did send me to an ENT, who after viewing all the pictures, labs and radiology reports, sent me to another ENT. Well that ENT sent me to his ENT, who is head of the ENT department at the university in town and his MA was able to schedule me for an appointment to see him a week later. I told B I was tempted to cancel the appointment because I was tired of wasting my time and being referred and referred to another doctor, and another doctor, etc. B asked me to keep the appointment and if I still walked away after the appointment feeling dislcouraged and like I wasted my time, then we would seek other treatment. Funny how I get so frustrated that I might have some extreme tendencies to for example, jump off cliffs because it just makes more sense to me to do something drastic , ya know) and then B has this level of discernment that can reel me in and produce peace with a few words.
Well that ENT, about 60 seconds into the appointment, said he had viewed and studied the pictures of my parathyroid and explained he believed at least one part, potentially two of the four-part parathyroid had tumors. I asked him how long he had specialized in ENT studies. 30 years. Only 30 years!! Then he said, “ I’ve seen this before, these symptoms and pictures . I’m confident if we do the 15 minute surgery to take out the parathyroid, that you should start feeling better almost immediately in the recovery room.” And with those few words, those tear ducts started filling up. You might remember that this girl does not cry…. her eyes sweat.
The end of the tunnel just became brighter…
Posted by crusaderjennblog in adoption, Babies, Bible, Faith, family, health, Inspiration, Living with Living with Multiple Sclerosis, Living with MS, Living with Multiple Sclerosis, Maintaining Faith, MS, MS Fight Club, Multiple Sclerosis, Neurological Conditions, prayer, Relapsing Remitting, Relapsing Remitting MS, Stress and MS, toddlers, Uncategorized, Women with MS on November 5, 2021
When MS became more than MS with the unforseen truckload of additional health issues caused by the drug Lemtrada, I really questioned God and his faithfulness. I’m very aware there was never a guarantee that my life would be obstacle free. In fact as a Christian, it is a sure thing that God will allow trials for my own growth.
Having problems pushed me to know him better or have I reacted by becoming closed-up or anti-social?
As problems manifest, I have been prone to isolation. It’s way more comfortable than sharing anything for which folks will likely shun me anyway. So, in a sense I’m doing my future self a favor. Right? Totally. Except. God didn’t create any person to survive alone, but thrive with others to support, encourage, lift-up during times such as these. And there I was isolating myself at home, doing distance church from my iPad at home to avoid being a burden or a slow-poke with my cane or avoid questions like , “what happened?” from nosy-nellies posing as concerned people who care.
Ouch. Thank you, Lord for convicting me of being narcissistic and shame on me for doubting anyone’s intentions. That’s my normal reaction, but it dawned on me, (again thank you, Lord) last week watching church, that with all this crap going on with my health, that I have a fantastic testimony opportunity. And so after many weeks at home during church, but watching from a distance, I put on my big-girl pants and went back to church.
For an incredible reason. For B and I to have our two-year-old daughter dedicated at church. Didn’t I mention we had a foster child in our home? That we officially adopted at the beginning of August?
