Posts Tagged He’s got the whole world in his hands
It is well with my soul
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, Inspiration, Living with MS on July 22, 2015
I love the newer version of this old hymn and God has continued to use this song to keep me and my thoughts in-check because at times, and I’ll be honest, I’ve gone from zero negativity to Defcon Red in milliseconds, for which there is really no valid reason. Those reasons have been ridiculous and those worries have been entirely unfounded. The “what if?” game and I have been on again, off again roommates and I still have to work at kicking-out the unwanted guest when they attempt to argue, sit down and makes themselves at home for an extended stay as they readily rehash what’s wrong in my life, when all I must do is counter-hash everything that is right. Here is Matt Redman’s version of “It Is Well With My Soul.”
I have been so very blessed! In 2001 my MS was on a fast-track quickly retrogressing and I became dependent upon using a wheelchair full-time. 2015 marks 10 years since I regained feeling in my legs, was healed and able to again walk and not require the assistance of a wheelchair. Thank you, Lord.
My Dad was diagnosed with cancer a little over a year ago in 2014. With each quarterly exam, the cancer was confirmed with the understanding that because it was a slow-growing cancer, nothing was an emergency, but it would need to be monitored. My Dad’s quarterly cancer check-up and biopsy in June came back, “No cancer.” As in with all the many many samples they extracted, there was NO TRACE of it. Thank you, Lord.
Our oldest kitty Thor, died at end of April- just a couple of months ago. He was with us 18 years and he lived a pretty long and happy life filled with chasing string and consistent purrs. We adopted Thor shortly after B and I married. Our youngest kitty, Zephyr was diagnosed with kidney stones last winter and because of the process of going under the knife, we’ve hesitated to get him the surgery. With our loss of Thor, the Lord knew we needed some comfort and allowed Zephyr to be instrumental in providing that with lots of loves and cuddles as we mourned, but we remained worried that his condition would also take him from us too soon. Zephyr is now stone-free. Thank you, Lord.
My husband had a bad cough for about a year and the doctor said it was fine. It went away and then the cough started again and I kept reminding B to go to his doctor to see what was going on. They did a full exam and also ran an x-ray this time around. The x-ray was clear and everything is absolutely fine with his lungs except that the doc put him on an allergy regimen and now that painful cough is almost completely gone. Thank you, Lord.
I doubt that there are any other Christians out there who have ever been able to relate to being control-freaks or worrying excessively. What? You might resemble being controlling? You worry about stuff too? Then you can relate… I guess that somehow I believed in my very misguided perception is that if I worried needlessly about anything big or small, that things will get better or something ridiculous like that. I am thankful that God has a plan and that through my worries, He’s waited patiently for me to step-back, give him those reigns for my inner control-freak extraordinaire and just let him be God. It’s a process and I am an active work-in-progress with needing to remind myself daily that, “‘He’s got this, Jenn.” It’s very silly the amount of control that I perceive I have. I believe that the above situations served for no other purpose than to get my faith on-track. But then, it may not be all about me, so perhaps my perspective is selfish in that the listed situations were to grow my faith, when those also could have also served to grow my husband’s faith, my Dad faith, my Mom’s faith and / or my Sister’s faith…
As B and I have again felt led to pursue adoption, our faith has very much been stretched. It’s far from ideal circumstances since we’re older and have less money than the first time we attempted to adopt in ’07, but God’s bigger. We’ve been called to just be obedient to his guidance. He’s bigger than our perceived ideal circumstances and we have questions, but more than anything, we must trust in him.
Relinquishing control is not easy, but I’m confident that considering my own life is just a little blip on God’s screen, that He can see all things past, present and future and that there is a Divine purpose for him allowing you or me or any other person to go through anything. Those situations are either good or bad character building or faith building.
What are you made of? Do you struggle with doubt? What kind of situations have challenged your own faith?
Jenn
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We are not homeless
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith on December 23, 2014
As I reread my posts, I realized the last one over six months ago, I left hanging and failed to update some things like, did we move? And did we still have a home? The thing is, we were hanging by a thread with no clear path. And then, my husband managed to obtain a position. That was so God. That we had no answers and miracle upon miracles, I mentioned before that God is never late and He’s always, always on time. And God provided just when my husband’s unemployment ran out. The position was not what I would call ideal because of the graveyard hours and the part of town where one of the work-sites was located, but it was legal, paid the bills and ensured we could remain in our home.
And then another answer to prayer… Earlier in the year, my husband applied for a sales position, but never heard from the company again after they initially called. Then, months later in late October, he finally heard from them again. He interviewed, was offered a job and started the second week of November. The timing of that additional answer to prayer was incredible. The graveyard position he worked ensured a crappy sleep schedule in addition to requiring that he remain on his feet the entire shift. My husband had injured his knee playing soccer a couple of years ago and even after surgery, his mobility never returned to what it once was, so being on his feet nonstop, even with decent shoes, was taking it’s tole. His increasing knee pain and lack of sleep were making him weary and he mentioned filing for disability. And right after that, he got the call to interview with the company where he works currently. God’s timing is perfect. And because it is not a regionally based sales position, he should be able to take the job with him when we’re hoping to move north next spring. Yay!
With each challenge, God has provided, but I like to have my plans and to-do lists mapped-out ahead of time and with great specificity, so this waiting for answers process has been brutal on my psyche because of that whole inner-control-freak issue that I battle with for dominance consistently. More than anything through this process of waiting to plan, God keeps telling me, “Not now, Jenn.” And yet, here I am continuing to attempt to control things. I have this perception that God must shake his head as he looks at me, “There Jenn goes again and why doesn’t she just rest in My peace? She’d be a lot more comfortable. That girl is a walking panic-attack.” As hard as I try to just let God be God, I feel I must prepare and think ahead. And what that says is that I don’t trust God to take care of things so I’m going to take care of it myself.
I get it. I really do and this year has been such a massive challenge for my faith. I had written about my experience years ago as I prayed for, hoped and waited for healing and my current set of circumstances is similar in that I MUST WAIT. In my head, I keep hearing the childhood song, “He’s got the whole world in his hands, he’s got the whole world in his hands…” and I’ve gained some much-needed comfort from reciting those words as I’ve found myself doubting if God can handle this. Shame on me for even questioning him because I’ve seen and experienced the blessing of God’s healing power, his healing in my marriage, his ongoing provision for family and friends and yet I still have the audacity to question him. Really, Lord? Can you handle getting us back to Washington? And as I replay those song lyrics in my head, I get a resounding, “Yes. Now be still!” I am an ongoing work in progress and I’m prayerful that one of these days soon, the relationship I once had with my Creator will get back to where it was. Back then, I was consistently at peace with everything instead of allowing the inconsequential crap of life to provide interference…
Joseph and Mary had less than ideal surroundings as they journeyed to Bethlehem on a donkey while she was pregnant only to give birth in a stable, but it was fine, as the Lord provided what they needed and as He kept them safe and protected. Neither of them obtained a memo about Gods’s plan and the simplicity of God bringing the savior of the world to a manger causes me shame and I’m embarrassed of my lofty expectations. Who am I? Thank you, Lord for the gift of your Son and for keeping things in perspective.
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