Posts Tagged holidays

True or False: A blog is a safe place to share or rant.

Years ago, I was one of those who lived on the Faceplant (Facebook).  See the film “The Internship” if you’re not familiar with the Faceplant reference.  I spent hours lurking, liking and responding to people’s posts.  Because I was sick (really I was in a wheelchair for a while) and could do nothing, but vicariously live through other’s activities.  That was years ago and over the years, that time on Facebook diminished a great deal, to now, when I can barely tolerate it.   I’m on there maybe once a week and primarily to see family and like/support the Seahawks feed.  I might find myself feeling like I should like friend’s posts if I happen to make it to being logged-in 5 minutes 90 seconds.  I set my profile on private and all my settings are also private so people really can’t see much about me like my birthday or anniversary.  If I had that information available to others, than I would feel obligated to also give people the appropriate, “Happy or Congratulatory” remarks on their walls.  So I rarely log-in to the social network thank goodness because who has time?  When I got a new iPhone last Christmas, much to my dismay the Facebook app came pre-loaded, but I do not use the app for the reason that I am not that important.  And Twitter?  I have an account, but I also don’t use that.  Because I’m not that important.

My husband laughs at my attitude because he thinks I sound like an elderly person.  Hush, you whippersnapper.  I guess I noticed last time I logged-in that people used Facebook as a means of obtaining relationship advice.  A while back, I saw the marital demise of some friends based on the surplus of their disparaging Facebook posts at each other that were out there for the world to see.  Don’t people tire of notifying everyone of what they’re feeling moment to moment or capturing every second of their life through taking pictures of themselves and posting another variation of their emotions or what they’re wearing?  #Narcissism

Speaking of Instagram, I joined and my husband will attest to the fact that it was while borderline kicking and screaming.  Social networks elicit that kind of a reaction any more because I feel like it’s, “just one more thing” that I’m required to monitor consistently.  Thank you to those who hounded me on Facebook a few years ago when I didn’t respond in your timely fashion (immediately).  And I closed the social network and turned to blogging.

I read a blog the other day and the writer was annoyed by the self-appointed blog experts who condemn bloggers new and old, like me for ‘doing it wrong.’   I can accept that I don’t know a lot, but I write because I like to and am not in any way trying to reach a certain crowd or a certain number of followers through my writing.  The only thing I fear with blogging is making a commitment for a daily or weekly post and may miss a day because for example, Music Monday is on Monday and God forbid I miss the right day and have to post it on Thursday.  That’s failure to me and a very real fear.  That silly idea happened months ago and I already failed to maintain Music Monday because well, I was busy staging our home to look like we actually live here and then the whole thing with adoption started taking root, so you may understand that life has become busy.

My social networking pages are about me or what I want to see.  I have a right to post what I want to post or filter-out what I don’t want to see.  I should be able to maintain a page without fear of another individual high-jacking MY post by inserting their hashtag to use my post as their vehicle to support what or who they support.  I guess I have this mentality that because I wouldn’t be that selfish to use a hashtag on a friend’s page, others also shouldn’t be selfish.  It’s already challenging enough for me to share / post anything on Facebook without having to monitor / censor friends comments that appear.  I support the Hawks and with football  season beginning shortly, I changed my page’s photos to reflect my support.  A friend commented that they couldn’t ‘like’ the new photos because they support a different team – insert hashtag.  I deleted the comment because the hashtag supported an opposing team.  I posted those pictures for ME to support the Hawks so perhaps a better response to those mascot pictures might have been for my friend to roll their eyes and NOT comment with an opposing hashtag?   I guess I fear this friend’s response if they were to read this, because I don’t believe they can separate the difference between me disliking (deleting) their response or disliking them as a person, which is not the issue because I like them very much.

I get that there’s a certain satisfaction / ego boost that goes with razzing friends who support opposing teams, but why the hashtag?  Personally, I see the hashtag as a great way to categorize, but because of their over-abundant use anymore, I’ve grown to see the symbol as  #anotsocleverfiller.  I #rantneverriot

Of what social networking trends are you tired or bored?   Thank you for reading.

~Jenn

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Stop texting and pay attention – vehicles are deadly weapons too

I’m not a fan of regurgitated information, but this situation continues to bug me so maybe I needed to vent a little.  I don’t know that there’s anything to attribute what seems to be an excessive death toll on Southern Nevada roads to anything other than drivers who fail to pay attention.  Are they talking or texting on their phones?  Nevada DOT stated that there were 271 fatalities on Nevada roads in 2014.  I remember one weekend in November, there were 11 alone.  It’s disturbing that it’s as high as it is.  I think the worst situation was just a few days before Thanksgiving when a grandfather took his 18-month-old grand-daughter for a walk in her stroller and was hit by a driver who fled the scene.  Was the driver texting or was she DUI?  We will never know.

My heart still goes out to the family of this grandpa who died at the scene of this accident.  Locals were fired-up for a long time because the driver had the wherewith-all to recognize she ‘may have’ hit someone, but instead of calling 911, she retained an attorney.  Was she texting or drunk?  It does not get better at this point…  She told her attorney she would turn herself in after Thanksgiving.  Now, I’m just a simple blogger and I understand attorney-client privilege, but don’t your rights get tossed-out when ya commit a felony?  And wouldn’t said felony make ya forfeit spending the holidays with people ya love?  She turned herself in 8 days later, but almost promptly bonded-out.  Now this story gets better because when she bonded-out, our local law enforcement in cooperation with U.S. Immigration officers were already gathering the required documentation of her expired Visa so they could rearrest the overly smug Bulgarian.  As of the end of the year, she remains in jail and my hope is that she’ll be deported with iron branding on her forehead and limbs that says , “Work Visa Failure.  Not Authorized to be on American soil.”  Or something to that effect…

Too harsh or not harsh enough?  What do you think would be the ideal punishment for a foreigner committing a felony in the United States?

~Jenn

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‘Now’ is not the magic word

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!  I can’t believe we’re a week away from a new year and for us that means we’ll be able to place our house on the market sooner than I originally believed.  Our contract will be up with February’s payment and we will be able to move forward with selling when we make the final payment February 1st, which is essentially only a month away!

Since we’ve been in Nevada, we have gone through many income changes.  My husband is THE bread-winner.  He had obtained a position before he made the big move southwest.  (I followed a few months after our house sold in Washington) and he was laid off just months later before 2011’s end.  He obtained another position within a few months in the same industry, but was laid off again also before the following year’s end.  He then found the graphic artist position a few months later, but was also shortly laid off again and with each new position, there was significant salary reduction, with no room to negotiate.  That’s been the biggest challenge for my husband as he equates his self-worth with his income level.  As the situation was what it was, we adjusted expenses.  For example, we cancelled our gym memberships, pool maintenance and pest services, which we learned to do ourselves and we rarely go out to eat and I also learned to color my own hair.  We really had to reassess needs versus wants.  Thankfully, my rig was paid-off several years ago shortly after purchasing so there’s no vehicle payment coming out of our limited budget.  However, our rig is a full-size SUV so when my husband obtained another job on the other side of town, the cost of fuel to commute was requiring almost as much in gas as his paychecks.  But we survived and even saved a little.

Patience

A lot of discipline was required in order for us to save any money, but we did and a few months ago we paid cash for a second more fuel efficient vehicle.  With each reduction in income, we were forced to recognize how carelessly frivolous we’d become in our spending habits.  I’m embarrassed that we used credit so carelessly.  It’s been a process, but I believe we’re still getting to where God wants us to be fully dependent on him.  God could have opened the proper channels to allow my husband to get another job with the same level of income, but since that did not occur, it made us do what we never bothered to.  Implement a reasonable budget.  I’m sharing all of this to explain that we’ve become price conscious and do a lot of product research before buying anything expensive because any non-grocery item that costs more than $0.00 is expensive.  So when a few weeks ago we received an unexpected Christmas gift of a Keurig from my folks, we were thankful, but surprised because that type of item is expensive to operate and it was not on any wish list for us to purchase any time soon.  We made a decision to use the brewer only on the weekends because the K-cups are costly.  Although the Keurig brews a fantastic cup of coffee, it failed to pump water from the full reservoir after only a week, which equated to only 8 uses.  I went through the trouble shooting steps and nothing changed.  Meanwhile, my husband did a ton of research on sites like Costco and Amazon and discovered the Keurig has issues with consistently low ratings, where customers and members share their experiences over and over with failed water pumps.

My Mom is the spearhead for practicality in buying appliances as gifts in past years and has blessed us with other devices and thankfully, there were never problems with these items.  When the Keurig failed, I avoided saying anything because it wasn’t my Mom’s fault, but she tends to take things personally and I didn’t want to go through the explanation of the way we assess cost, dependability and value.  My husband researched and we returned the Keurig to Costco and when the customer service agent saw the Keurig in the cart, he immediately said, “The pump must have failed.”  I realize we could have exchanged it for a new Keurig, but considering the hundreds of negative product reviews during recent weeks, our practicality asked why exchange for a repeat of the same faulty product?  So when we returned it, we’d already determined we’d find another K-cup brewer with higher ratings.  We didn’t find another brand at the Costco warehouse or at Costco on-line, but found a high-rated brewer on Amazon that was surprisingly cheaper through a commercial restaurant supplier.  When I spoke with my parents Christmas Eve, they asked how we liked our Keurig, although I had hoped and prayed it wouldn’t be a topic of conversation, so I smiled and mentioned it made a fantastic cup of coffee.  Don’t judge.  That wasn’t a lie.  I swear, my Mom plays Jedi mind-tricks and in only a few minutes of our weekly Skype call, I somehow spilled how it failed.

All this is to provide an example and explanation of how and why we became so price and budget conscious.  We were forced to change spending habits and the biggest realization for both of us now is that even if we had that same level of income that we had in years past or won a substantial amount of money, we would maintain our current positive saving and spending habits.  We have never had a “keeping up with the Jones” problem because we have never cared or compared ourselves to what our peers have, but what we did have was a if we wanted something problem, instead of saving, we had to have it now problem.  Patience really is a virtue, my friends.

Jenn

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I Believe

Merry Christmas 2014

I don’t give myself permission to listen to Christmas music until the day after Thanksgiving and I also don’t wear any pair of festive Christmas socks or fun Christmas earrings until the day after Thanksgiving.  Those are the rules.  I also had a rule that if my attitude was not where it needed to be as far as being cheerful and uplifting, I had no business wearing those items as it would be a conflict of interest, so my rules motivated me to ensure that my mind and heart were in the right place.  I also have an extensive collection of fun socks with cats, dogs, polka dots, stripes, etc. for year- around wear, but the same rules apply.  I don’t have the right to be around people or wear any fun thing that contradicts my attitude, so, imagine how quickly that forced me to reassess why my attitude was where it was and pray for help to recognize what I need to in order to get over myself.

This was and generally still is a practice I’d gotten into the habit of doing, but at some point during the past several months, I haven’t been nearly as cheerful as I normally am and when the day after Thanksgiving arrived, I thought as I grabbed a pair of fantastically festive reindeer socks. “Oh no!  Am I truly ready?”  I remembered my rules and determined I wasn’t ready to wear them and immediately started listening to my collection of Christmas tunes as I should have done sooner than November.  I’m confident you recall Buddy’s rule from the film Elf, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”  My thoughts transferred to listening to Christmas music and singing along would assist me in changing my attitude.  And it did.

christmas cheer 2

When I anxiously started packing the house for moving several months ago, I did not believe we would still be in Nevada to miss another holiday with either of our families.  But, here we are, still in Nevada in 2014, with no Christmas tree and only one of those beautiful wreaths from Costco, hung over the door, as that was the only decorative Christmas item still easily accessed.  Thankfully,the sock moratorium did not last, but a couple days.  I may still have a few minutes of a bad attitude, but I try to keep it brief because getting caught-up in myself and my thoughts for too long is not healthy.  I’ve determined being a few states away from our families for another Thanksgiving / Christmas season is the issue, but I have to keep reminding myself we’re only a few months away from returning home.

As I was writing the other day, Christmas music was playing and I always stop whatever I’m doing to reflect on the impacting lyrics of Natalie Grant’s song “I Believe” and I’ve included a link for you copy into your browser so you can watch and listen:

christmas begins with Christ

Value time with loved ones and have a very Merry Christmas.

~Jenn

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We are not homeless

As I reread my posts, I realized the last one over six months ago, I left hanging and failed to update some things like, did we move?  And did we still have a home?  The thing is, we were hanging by a thread with no clear path.  And then, my husband managed to obtain a position.  That was so God.  That we had no answers and miracle upon miracles, I mentioned before that God is never late and He’s always, always on time.  And God provided just when my husband’s unemployment ran out.  The position was not what I would call ideal because of the graveyard hours and the part of town where one of the work-sites was located, but it was legal, paid the bills and ensured we could remain in our home.

1f236-keepthefaith

And then another answer to prayer…  Earlier in the year, my husband applied for a sales position, but never heard from the company again after they initially called.  Then, months later in late October, he finally heard from them again.  He interviewed, was offered a job and started the second week of November. The timing of that additional answer to prayer was incredible.  The graveyard position he worked ensured a crappy sleep schedule in addition to requiring that he remain on his feet the entire shift.  My husband had injured his knee playing soccer a couple of years ago and even after surgery, his mobility never returned to what it once was, so being on his feet nonstop, even with decent shoes, was taking it’s tole.  His increasing knee pain and lack of sleep were making him weary and he mentioned filing for disability.  And right after that, he got the call to interview with the company where he works currently.  God’s timing is perfect.  And because it is not a regionally based sales position, he should be able to take the job with him when we’re hoping to move north next spring.  Yay!

With each challenge, God has provided, but I like to have my plans and to-do lists mapped-out ahead of time and with great specificity, so this waiting for answers process has been brutal on my psyche because of that whole inner-control-freak issue that I battle with for dominance consistently.  More than anything through this process of waiting to plan, God keeps telling me, “Not now, Jenn.”  And yet, here I am continuing to attempt to control things.  I have this perception that God must shake his head as he looks at me, “There Jenn goes again and why doesn’t she just rest in My peace?  She’d be a lot more comfortable.  That girl is a walking panic-attack.”  As hard as I try to just let God be God, I feel I must prepare and think ahead.  And what that says is that I don’t trust God to take care of things so I’m going to take care of it myself.

BE still

I get it.  I really do and this year has been such a massive challenge for my faith. I had written about my experience years ago as I prayed for, hoped and waited for healing and my current set of circumstances is similar in that I MUST WAIT.  In my head, I keep hearing the childhood song, “He’s got the whole world in his hands, he’s got the whole world in his hands…” and I’ve gained some much-needed comfort from reciting those words as I’ve found myself doubting if God can handle this.  Shame on me for even questioning him because I’ve seen and experienced the blessing of God’s healing power, his healing in my marriage, his ongoing provision for family and friends and yet I still have the audacity to question him.  Really, Lord?  Can you handle getting us back to Washington?  And as I replay those song lyrics in my head, I get a resounding, “Yes.  Now be still!”  I am an ongoing work in progress and I’m prayerful that one of these days soon, the relationship I once had with my Creator will get back to where it was.  Back then, I was consistently at peace with everything instead of allowing the inconsequential crap of life to provide interference…

Joseph and Mary had less than ideal surroundings as they journeyed to Bethlehem on a donkey while she was pregnant only to give birth in a stable, but it was fine, as the Lord provided what they needed and as He kept them safe and protected.  Neither of them obtained a memo about Gods’s plan and the simplicity of God bringing the savior of the world to a manger causes me shame and I’m embarrassed of my lofty expectations.  Who am I?  Thank you, Lord for the gift of your Son and for keeping things in perspective.

Prayer

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Totally unrelated, but I have a question…

I do not understand why people name their child a name only to call them a nickname.  I am Jennifer.  I’ve never gone by Jenny, but people insist on calling me a name I don’t use and never gave them permission to use.  I think for my little sister’s sake when we were kids, my folk’s called me Jeni because it was shorter and how easy is it for a little one to say Jennifer?  Once I was allowed to have my own opinion and when I obtained my first job as a lifeguard and swimming instructor, I was Jennifer.  In high school I also went by Jennifer, but friends still call me Jenn.  Jenn is absolutely fine and just leave it at that.  Don’t add the extra vowel variation.  When I joined the professional workforce, using my full name was never a problem and no one requested to call me Jenny.

When I met my husband, I asked him to call me Jenn.  It’s more personal sounding whereas, Jenny can be found in the backwoods with a full size rebel flag pole bolted upright in the middle of a jacked-up pick-up bed accessorized with a gun-rack.  The jacked-up pickup is so not my style.  Seriously, that is my perception.  Jenn is not hill-billyish – it’s casual and personal.  Jenn was never an issue either and I like hearing Jenn (written it must be with two n’s), but there’s just something about hearing a fully speech-developed adult calling me Jenny that makes my ears go numb.  From little ones like my niece and nephew, hearing Auntie Jeni is precious, special and too fantastically cute.  Generally speaking, there are no adults other than my sister and brother-in-law who call me Jeni – and that’s for my niece’s and nephew’s sake.  Even my parents made a concentrated effort to be conscious of it.

My maternal side blood-relatives had already long ago started calling me Jenn, but for whatever reason, a few one individual will not honor following their lead and call me Jenn.  I’m sitting here at my desk staring at a Christmas card envelope addressed to Jenny and my husband’s name.  Cute card, but that name is honestly like nails on a chalkboard.  I have never presumed to call someone a name they didn’t give me upon meeting them, so is it too much to reciprocate that?  I’m Jennifer or Jenn, but not Jenny/Jeni unless you’re a niece or nephew.

I see this a lot.  Michael is a perfectly excellent name, but it often becomes Mike or worse yet, Mikey, Richard becomes Dick and Margaret becomes Peggy.  Whaaaat?  So, back to my original question – why do parents name a child one thing, only to promptly call them something else?

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