Posts Tagged husbands
Stop self-diagnosing and seek professional help
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, marriage, Uncategorized on August 15, 2016
I woke in the middle of Friday night to a very loud crash and shot out of bed when I noticed my husband wasn’t next to me. I ran to the bathroom and said B’s name. “Are you alright, Sweetheart?” There was no response and I turned on the light. He was on the floor. His forehead was bleeding. He had passed out and came-to as I was talking to him. The situation was terrifying. I asked him what was going on, if he had a stomach ache? Should I call 9-1-1? He was sweating profusely. He said no to calling, but he wanted needed to get back in bed as he was dizzy and very disoriented. B is several inches taller and heavier, but I tried to help B stand-up the best I could and as it appeared he made progress in his steps. I reached to push the bathroom door out of the way and B fell again with another crash. What was going on? Something was clearly very wrong and my mind began racing with “what ifs?”
B was again unreceptive to me calling 9-1-1 as he had no thoughts that his life was in jeopardy, but asked me to start taking notes about how he felt because we’d probably need those later. I got my tablet, opened the appropriate App and started typing short-hand as fast as I could. B shared what types of symtoms started when and I sought a second opinion from that handy web-based MD App, plugged in symptoms and coincidentally, the App agreed with my own assessment. The thing is, I really say that the App agreed with moi, tongue-in-cheek because neither B, nor I are medical professionals.
I shared the other day that I’m back to white-knuckling everything… And then this situation with my wonderful husband’s health at stake, just about sent me over the edge. Why? Currently, we have custody of a growing 6-month-old baby, whom we hope to adopt in the coming months, although I’ve been clear with B that I’m fine with her being here as long as he remains healthy because I am terrified to be a single parent. Terrified. We’re also actively pursuing application approval for me to receive a fairly new FDA approved MS therapy that has the potential to repair much of what MS took from me many years ago and then add-in all the other nagging, problematic issues of my our life and I’m a clear-cut case for a nervous breakdown. About a year ago, I started having somewhat regular panic attacks when my/our circumstances or coming events become overwhelming. I had my first panic attack last fall before B took me to the airport to visit my family, another one when we gained custody of our foster baby – give me some grace as we’d never had children, another panic attack when our baby’s drug-dependent mom accosted me in early spring and each week thereafter for the next few months until I finally came to realization that God’s angels surrounded me and baby D when her mom got in my face, then the start of another attack as I fretted about B the other night as I watched him go back to sleep, worrying.
I’m so glad my husband is willing to go to the doctor when things are not right. First thing Saturday morning, he went to do a walk-in and was seen almost immediately. He said the PA did a full exam and shared her assessment, but that he’d need a CT scan Monday morning to get pictures of the condition she suspected. But with insurance, the CT scan copay would be $1100 and B said, “No.” So he’s been telling me because we don’t have that available, there must be another answer. And B also keeps telling me that instead of it being about his health, perhaps it’s entirely about ME and my need to put my faith into trusting God and resting in him instead of burdening myself with worrying about things over which I have no control. B has three goose eggs where his head hit the tile and he’s confident he didn’t get concussed, but all things considered, I think the gooseeggs are minor in the grand scheme.
Our pets are so at-ease about everything. I mean, they’re intuitive and seek to comfort when one of us is not well, but they don’t wring their paws with worry. Dear God, thank you for my husband and thank you for protecting him when he fell. Thank you also that this situation was not worse and please help me in my faith. And please help me to be like our pets and be at peace, Lord trusting and being at peace in you as they trust in us.
Have you had a similar situation with your spouse? How did you prepare or deal with this type of situation when you were in it or after the fact?
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True or False: A blog is a safe place to share or rant.
Posted by crusaderjennblog in debateable, Faith, lifestyle on August 25, 2015
Years ago, I was one of those who lived on the Faceplant (Facebook). See the film “The Internship” if you’re not familiar with the Faceplant reference. I spent hours lurking, liking and responding to people’s posts. Because I was sick (really I was in a wheelchair for a while) and could do nothing, but vicariously live through other’s activities. That was years ago and over the years, that time on Facebook diminished a great deal, to now, when I can barely tolerate it. I’m on there maybe once a week and primarily to see family and like/support the Seahawks feed. I might find myself feeling like I should like friend’s posts if I happen to make it to being logged-in 5 minutes 90 seconds. I set my profile on private and all my settings are also private so people really can’t see much about me like my birthday or anniversary. If I had that information available to others, than I would feel obligated to also give people the appropriate, “Happy or Congratulatory” remarks on their walls. So I rarely log-in to the social network thank goodness because who has time? When I got a new iPhone last Christmas, much to my dismay the Facebook app came pre-loaded, but I do not use the app for the reason that I am not that important. And Twitter? I have an account, but I also don’t use that. Because I’m not that important.
My husband laughs at my attitude because he thinks I sound like an elderly person. Hush, you whippersnapper. I guess I noticed last time I logged-in that people used Facebook as a means of obtaining relationship advice. A while back, I saw the marital demise of some friends based on the surplus of their disparaging Facebook posts at each other that were out there for the world to see. Don’t people tire of notifying everyone of what they’re feeling moment to moment or capturing every second of their life through taking pictures of themselves and posting another variation of their emotions or what they’re wearing? #Narcissism
Speaking of Instagram, I joined and my husband will attest to the fact that it was while borderline kicking and screaming. Social networks elicit that kind of a reaction any more because I feel like it’s, “just one more thing” that I’m required to monitor consistently. Thank you to those who hounded me on Facebook a few years ago when I didn’t respond in your timely fashion (immediately). And I closed the social network and turned to blogging.
I read a blog the other day and the writer was annoyed by the self-appointed blog experts who condemn bloggers new and old, like me for ‘doing it wrong.’ I can accept that I don’t know a lot, but I write because I like to and am not in any way trying to reach a certain crowd or a certain number of followers through my writing. The only thing I fear with blogging is making a commitment for a daily or weekly post and may miss a day because for example, Music Monday is on Monday and God forbid I miss the right day and have to post it on Thursday. That’s failure to me and a very real fear. That silly idea happened months ago and I already failed to maintain Music Monday because well, I was busy staging our home to look like we actually live here and then the whole thing with adoption started taking root, so you may understand that life has become busy.
My social networking pages are about me or what I want to see. I have a right to post what I want to post or filter-out what I don’t want to see. I should be able to maintain a page without fear of another individual high-jacking MY post by inserting their hashtag to use my post as their vehicle to support what or who they support. I guess I have this mentality that because I wouldn’t be that selfish to use a hashtag on a friend’s page, others also shouldn’t be selfish. It’s already challenging enough for me to share / post anything on Facebook without having to monitor / censor friends comments that appear. I support the Hawks and with football season beginning shortly, I changed my page’s photos to reflect my support. A friend commented that they couldn’t ‘like’ the new photos because they support a different team – insert hashtag. I deleted the comment because the hashtag supported an opposing team. I posted those pictures for ME to support the Hawks so perhaps a better response to those mascot pictures might have been for my friend to roll their eyes and NOT comment with an opposing hashtag? I guess I fear this friend’s response if they were to read this, because I don’t believe they can separate the difference between me disliking (deleting) their response or disliking them as a person, which is not the issue because I like them very much.
I get that there’s a certain satisfaction / ego boost that goes with razzing friends who support opposing teams, but why the hashtag? Personally, I see the hashtag as a great way to categorize, but because of their over-abundant use anymore, I’ve grown to see the symbol as #anotsocleverfiller. I #rantneverriot
Of what social networking trends are you tired or bored? Thank you for reading.
~Jenn
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I am the worst blogger. Ever.
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family, health, Inspiration, life, marriage, MS on May 12, 2015
Updating and sharing… I get so caught-up in doing irrelevant tasks like decorating the house (as I should have done years ago) and baking and currently researching to understand trends, that when I’m riding such a wave of momentum that I cannot stop or maybe I don’t stop? Shortly after I completed the ‘making our house a home’ ordeal back in early April, I was able to again join a gym. I’ve missed that daily habit for several years and when my MS improved back in ’05 and we were still in WA, I joined a gym and enlisted the help of a trainer who coincidentally also has MS, and provided me with a detailed program of cardio exercises, strength-building and toning exercises for me to keep some level of strength. But, since moving, I really had not been in a gym in years. I’m thankful most of the strength that I’d built remained during my gym absence and I was able to work the same major and minor muscle groups each day that I did earlier, so it took only a couple of weeks to get back into the habit in 2015. So once again these activities became part of my current routine with lifting four days a week, and doing between 7-10 miles of cardio on my recumbent bike at home daily.
Another project that’s had my ongoing attention is getting our pool ready for Pool-Season. During winter and early spring, there’s a minor level of maintenance required except after days of excessive wind and leaves blowing into the pool a few days each month. We had a couple of weeks of windy weather in late April, which resulted in a slightly cloudy pool from all the dust and then the vacuüm stopped working, but was not clogged so I enlisted a professional to diagnose our pool’s problem. I didn’t know what I didn’t know and I hate to claim ignorance, but there were a few steps that went ignored with our pool maintenance. So after cleaning the filters and getting ALL the appropriate equipment, with my newly acquired knowledge of ALL the steps, the pool is running just fine for the coming summer Pool-Season, which now that we’re consistently involved with our small group from church and they’re aware of our pool, there are definite expectations of us hosting pool-related barbecues/get-togethers.
Also relating to Pool-Season, my hair is short again. Long hair gets hot on my neck and I gripe about it for a month, even with it pulled-up in a pony-tail and I finally give in to getting it cut. It’ll grow back, unless I determine the shorter do is a keeper… Another thing is for years, my sister has been on me to watch Mad Men and a couple of weeks ago, B and I tried it a third time and well…we’re finally in. Jon Hamm is gorgeous, which has nothing to do with anything, but have you seen “Million Dollar Arm”? He’s definitely also a DB in that film just like he is in MM… And Peggy? Why didn’t anyone catch-on to her being pregnant? I called that long before she even started showing… Speaking of pregnancy, my sister is due in August and we’re once again attempting to adopt, but this time is different so more on that later.
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Star Date 3-9-15 and it’s been 120 years since my last log-in
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, Inspiration on March 9, 2015
or maybe it’s been days, but either way, it seems eons since I last had an opportunity to think in non-organizing mode, let alone blog mode… Much has happened and has had my attention focused on many important matters. I have my hand in at least 40 cookie-jars right now – one of which is literally full of German Chocolate cake cookies ready to eat on-demand. Don’t judge. My homemade treats power-ups are yummy and will provide for whatever the moment calls – sugary-sweet-goodness, energy comfort, inspiration, etc. for things like finally UNpacking the plethora of now empty boxes and decorating our home with the contents of said boxes. My mom helped to pick-out and decorate the home we built back in ’05 because she has a good eye (actually she has two) for choosing and determining the best placement for whatever accessory. But since my Mom’s over 1000 miles away, I have to pretend to have an interior designer and Nate Berkus is the only available party to show-up because I’m on a limited zero budget like that and because I can barely see him via my out-dated iPad on YouTube in my living room like that. Following Mom’s and NB’s lead, it finally looks like a home after only (ahem) three years in this house…
The interior of my our home appears just a little different and even smells different thanks to the aforementioned cookies. I now hate leaving the house for entirely different reasons, which around the last time I blogged, I believe I wrote relating to how much work it is to be friendly or social with others and dealing with changing my agoraphobic-like tendencies for the purpose to cease being a hermit. And boy have things changed!?! This isn’t to brag (perhaps a little), but every week since the beginning of February, I’ve attended our weekly small-group and even participated! Yay for me, but before I get into everything else happening, I need to mention that mid-February 2015 marked the 10 year anniversary when God began paving the way to and allowing the small changes that evolved into big changes that allowed me to walk again sans using the always packed wheelchair that became necessary to get me from a parking lot into a store for a shopping trip. Thank you, Lord to sustaining me and continuing to sustain me! When I began to regain feeling and started walking on my own once again, unintentionally, I began walking differently. High-stepping became the new normal, but I didn’t think twice about it as I was walking! Did I mention ‘walking’?
Over the years, I periodically had issues with my left hip giving me pain, but I took an ibuprofen and disregarded the inconvenience as I had more important things to consider – like the fact that I was WALKING! Back then, I almost immediately made a goal to do a triathlon because I believed I could and would, but what I didn’t realize was that because of the MS related numbness, lack of feeling and absence of strength in my right side for years, the high-stepping would do a great deal of damage to my good and stronger left side-regardless of the muscle I had built. (That whole brain-relay-to-body issue was a problem.) Yes, doing a triathlon was a lofty goal, but I worked-out and trained like I would do it one day.
‘Darling, I don’t know why I go to extremes. Too high or too low, there ain’t no in-betweens. And if I stand or I fall, it’s all or nothing at all, Darling I don’t know why I go to extremes.’ (thank you for such an appropriate song, Billy Joel). I love that song. It’s not the most upbeat, but those lyrics still resonate because I tend to consistently fail in finding the middle-ground. Left or right, black or white… Thus, my inability to effectively self-manage because I become so consumed with accomplishing whatever has taken over my thoughts. And when I finally gained a realistic understanding that what MS took away can never be returned or rebuilt, I became discouraged, angry and essentially quit trying because it seemed my efforts were in vain. I mean, why bother? With anything…
But once I got over myself after years of this unhealthy outlook and during the last several weeks, the years of fogginess lifted, I quit being stubborn and I gained a new level of clarity that I have not seen in a very long time. So imagine that combined with the new Bible study, which coincidentally began the same week, convicted me of being apathetic. Oh-no-You-di-n’t! And oh-yes-He-did because the first chapter was about doing something. Nothing specific, but ‘Do something, Jenn’ was what I kept hearing, seeing and everywhere. I hate that feeling. That feeling is unacceptable. So, I did something. I volunteered at church doing some things that are a great fit. 1. I joined the church-cleaning team and my particular group within the 16 member team cleans every four weeks. 2. I am also now a Sunday School teacher to two and three-year-olds, aka the fabulous ‘Super Juniors.’ Which makes me very much miss my own sweet niece and super-junior-size nephew…
Brain on overload, thoughts all over the place… this will require a few attempts to write an installment…oh how I’ve missed your non-judgmental patience as I get my feces collated, Blog…
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Let’s talk about intentions
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, marriage on February 5, 2015
Merriam Webster’s website (2015) defines intention as a noun and “something you aim to do” or a “purpose.” I believe that most people hope and aim to do their best and make intentions / commitments accordingly, therefore one might say that, “They had the best INTENTIONS.” I occasionally hear and read emails from or about people admitting to an event or something they intended to do, but obviously failed since the word was in the past-tense. Failed intentions are quickly given a pass because that wasn’t their, let’s say it together, INTENTION. The word is over-used and loosely-used to excuse an over-commitment (lie) / bad behavior or a failure. Now I’m confident that there are a great many who will call me judgmental and say I lack tolerance of people’s situations and go on to say that I must be perfect, blah, blah blah… I am far from perfection, but as a Christian, I try to do better than the day before and never over-commit. I was once one of those obtuse folks who over-committed and later canceled last-minute because I had the best of intentions to participate in making some donated goodies, for example, or however I committed only to later realize I committed to an activity in which I aimed to participate, that I really never had any intention of being involved. Okay, now get over yourself because you wouldn’t be that defensive if you weren’t also guilty of this.
At one time, I intended / committed to make cookies every Sunday for our old church. It was a small church and I needed to make only seven dozen cookies, which I often made every Saturday-night for the next morning. Considering how much I love baking, it was a very small act of service, but there came a point a few months later after doing this every weekend when I became bored and would cancel because I just didn’t feel like baking. Granted I had health issues that were becoming a contributing factor in this, but I should have resigned from my commitment ahead of time instead of being proud and stubborn. I spoke with someone about this and Mickey pointed out to me that intentions can go either way – we either do what we committed to do or we intend to not follow-through. When he further explained that it’s either/or or pass/fail, my eyes were opened more widely because I think like many, we think our intentions outweigh outcomes. But they do not.
About intentions in marriage…
Commitments / intentions should be as solid as your marriage vows and upheld. You make a commitment to your spouse and you should do whatever you have to to make sure you do not fail. Obviously, emergencies happen and must be accommodated, but a commitment remains a commitment. Over recent months this has become somewhat of a thing in my marriage. We’re working on 19 years together, but it’s been fairly consistent during only the last couple of years that B’s intentions to do something for me have some sort of ‘optional’ clause to not follow-through, perhaps? It is a bit hurtful, I admit, but because he intended to follow-through, I think he thinks that he should receive points for the intention, I guess? Now these broken commitments are small in the grand scheme and are not by any means divorce-worthy. However, it remains hurtful that I might have become somewhat of a sacrifice, as he makes sure he follows-through with each commitment beyond us. Perhaps he doesn’t want to appear a flake among coworkers or peers?
It’s interesting that people have such varying perspectives on intentions with spouses. For one individual, an intention to a spouse is as good as a signed contract and they will move mountains to ensure the intention/commitment remains unbroken, but for another, who sees their spouse as ‘just my husband’ or ‘just my wife,’ they have given themselves the option to fail [Stop taking your spouse for granted!], when it should be the complete opposite as they should elevate their spouse’s importance instead of diminishing it. Commitments to a spouse to fix an appliance or prepare a platter of goodies for coworkers or whatever the task is should be more important than commitments to non-spouses since you’re married to one and only work with or for another. I’ve never understood those who say things like that because essentially, they have lessened their spouses role and therefore their spouse’s value. Many years ago, I attended a work-related event with my husband and when his boss walked-up and asked who I was, I smiled and said, “I’m just B’s wife, Jennifer.” B’s boss responded with, “Hmm, you mean you ARE his wife and not just his wife…” That might have been eye-opening for me because there I was speaking condescendingly about myself.
Now, I must explain that my husband is NOT a monster. I think at times his focus gets wrapped-up in whatever project has his attention and that he doesn’t see the looming ‘something’s got to give’ warning sign up ahead. Unfortunately, that something is most often me because typically I am an understanding wife I attempt to be an understanding wife. I suspect there might be a few others in a similar situation and am curious how you address a concern with your spouse or do you prefer to avoid it? What is your best approach? What is your coping-mechanism? I like wine, which may or may not be relevant in this situation, but I believe that I just stumbled upon another blog-post idea…
~Jenn
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Engaging with people is so much work
Posted by crusaderjennblog in debateable, health, Inspiration, Jesus on January 26, 2015
Friendships require work and openness. I’ve been very guarded where friendships are concerned because I have been open to a fault with a few who I believed were ‘safe’ only to regret sharing when I experienced their over-developed sense of superiority due to their own perfection, which apparently made it allowable for them to judge me. In WA, I had a smallish group of females I trusted with whom I’d go out for a girls night like for drinks and music or a movie, but upon our relocation to NV, I’ve been closed-off to making more friends. Knowing our time here is short-lived, I’ve failed to pursue making friends with anyone beyond an acquaintance level because my outlook has been, “We won’t be here long enough to make it worth the effort.” Shame on me. No, BIG SHAME ON ME and please forgive me for not bothering to be friends with you.
For many years when we committed to going-out with, for the purpose of cultivating friendships with other couples, we were always on time and to cancel last minute was never an option. Although we were consistently on the receiving end of other’s flakiness because for some and you know who you are, being a flake is a lifestyle choice. Emergencies happen and those are excusable, but failing to plan, “Our plans slipped my mind,” is NOT a reasonable excuse when you know the date of said plans. Maybe you commit, but by committing perhaps you should always provide this disclaimer, “I commit right now, but what I really mean is I’m selfish and I’ll cancel at the last possible moment never giving a thought to any arrangements you might make in the hope that I might show-up and grace you with my presence for the evening, when my regretful decline could have given you an opportunity to do something else,” is what you should say.
But then after some reflection of last year, I have clearly become a poster-child for flaky as I have became somewhat of a borderline agoraphobic. My home is my safe and happy place. I get up. I shower. I read my Bible and pray. I take care of our pets. I exercise. I bake goodies. I drink wine and even catalog it in my little black book of Wine Notes. I read books and I might play an Ap for fun on my iPad. I run errands as needed. These activities became MY own little self-created-safe-zone when I determined that 15 minutes from home is the furthest and safest acceptable distance I can be from home at any time. Our church’s small group fits that, but I’ve rarely attended any more.
Being budget-conscious and to save money, we quit using full-time air-conditioning and as a result, our home becomes suffocating hot during summer. If it’s 108 degrees outdoors, it’s around 87 indoors and multiply that if it’s humid. Just a touch hot and with MS, the heat renders me useless until the AC comes on for a couple of hours each morning and then again in the evening and when the AC comes on, I’m in recovery mode, which has been my ongoing excuse for not attending our small group except that now that we’re out of summer, there is no viable excuse for my non-attendance, which means that I evolved into what I detest and became a flake! Our small group from church started a new study last week and I attended, but came home feeling convicted for many things one of which seems to appear in red flashing bold letters, “Making excuses for not attending our small group when I can during these cooler months,” or was that flashing in red just for me?
So now that I’ve explained why I have become what I’ve become, I’m actively working to change my habits. It’s not a New Year’s resolution per se as my followers may have already read about in https://wordpress.com/post/81313185/142/ but I guess I’m reaching-out as a means of publicly recognizing I must stop my hermit-like habits, which also equates to fostering friendships and getting together for things like coffee or being friendly instead of remaining holed-up in a book or a game Ap. Step 1 was the easiest in recognizing I had a problem. It’s the next stuff that’ll present the biggest challenges for me because I can be very content with operating within my little world. Yes, I know it’s not healthy, but it’s comfortable and that’s become the biggest challenge for me with our new small group study: to go beyond my comfort-zone. I’ll keep you updated in how I fare through this what I suspect will be an uncomfortable process.
Do you have a comfort zone? Do you have a negative habit? Did you create a positive habit to replace your negative habit? Or how did you overcome it?
~Jenn
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Panic, averted, not ave… , averted
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family on January 7, 2015
I received a call this morning pertaining to the fact that there would not be a shipment of my MS medication, although, as of yesterday afternoon, I would receive it Thursday. So, when the organization called again today and said there would be an indefinite delay for shipping me my medication, I panicked.
Jenn’s game plan: 1. Panic. 2. Panic more 3. Repeat. When Instead, this should always be my game plan:
However, I did successfully talk myself off of the ledge, took a deep breath and determined I needed a Peppermint Infused Mocha. So I made one. Peppermint Infused Mocha: Mix 1/8 cup half and half with 1/2 to 1 tbsp chocolate syrup, add 1 soft peppermint, then add 1 cup of hot coffee and stir until peppermint is nearly melted. Enjoy. And I did, but then I started to panic again. Peppermint Infused Mochas provide only a minimal level of distraction and comfort and after 4 of these this morning, I determined I should come-up with another game plan. That’s what Russell Wilson would do. But then my defeating thoughts started again… what if I don’t get my medicine this week? Will the delay in taking my injections cause my MS to again relapse? Will I end up in a wheelchair again? This is my ongoing problem: I go from zero to apocalyptic in 0.001 seconds. Until roughly two years ago, I was never a worrier because I took comfort in knowing that regardless of what I did, there were many things out of my control and back then I easily let-go of things and stepped aside for God to control.
It’s been interesting and eye-opening when I think back through recent years and review my decision-making where health is concerned. For the last decade, when fall arrived, I ALWAYS got a flu-shot. But last September, I put my tradition on hold as I questioned whether I was trusting God to keep me healthy or putting my trust in a vaccine. I know that God gives us common-sense and common-sense says to get a flu shot because rumor has it that the current flu-strain is awful. So I should get a shot. But considering we’re on a very tight budget, I shouldn’t get a flu-shot, but can I afford not to? Which says, get a flu-shot, but does that say that I don’t trust God with my health? But then, but this, but that, and the list goes on and I go back and forth. I fully understand that I still lack control of nearly everything, but here I am and as always I am an ongoing WIP (Work-In-Progress) to immerse myself completely in trusting God.
It’s become obvious to myself that I trusted God years ago to get me out of the wheelchair and he did that. Praise God for such a wonderful blessing, but I’m ashamed to admit that my trust is lacking with everything else, like getting us moved back to Washington and keeping our own little family and critters healthy. I’m also ashamed to admit that I have this mentality that because I was the recipient of such an amazing blessing when God allowed my health to improve so drastically, that I do not qualify for any additional blessings. But I know better than to think like that because we are promised in Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV that, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works so that no one can boast.”
Jesus dying on the cross, forgave what I did and what I will do as long as I confess. Grace is about what He did and that cannot ever be earned. When Jesus died on the cross for me and everyone else, that was never earned, but I still received that precious gift. Therefore, I have to believe that receiving healing was also not earned and that I just need to rest in peace that regardless of whatever challenges may come up for me or my family, his grace will sustain.
~Jenn
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