Posts Tagged life
Shaking it off
Posted by crusaderjennblog in debateable, Inspiration, Music Monday on January 19, 2015
This isn’t a ‘traditional’ Music Monday post as I’ve suggested I will share the first Monday of each Month. This link came across my email over the weekend and it’s too amusing to NOT share with y’all. I suspect that nearly everyone is familiar with Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off.” With all the negativity and awful press that many officers receive, I thought this was an appropriate cop’s response to those bandwaggoners who maintain the ignorance that all cops are bad:
Thank you to all the men and women who’ve lost their lives and who continue to place their their lives on-the-line each day to protect and serve. Thank you also to the officer in the video who maintained a great sense of humor lip-syncing, “Shake It Off.”
To those who believe cops shouldn’t carry or use weapons, I ask if you think officers can realistically protect by carrying only non-deadly mace to spray at perps or protect using a tranquilizer gun to hopefully only stun a criminal, if the officer happens to gain clear access, while you’re being held at gunpoint, for example? Or, is a cop only obligated to protect you and not also protect him or herself?
~Jenn
Share this:
Is the potential to make things worse, worth the risk?
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family, Jesus, MS on January 17, 2015
I’ve been in the middle of using those critical thinking skills and I think because of my tendency to analyze and reanalyze in all numbers of equations, those skills only become more and sharper to more quickly come to reasonable conclusions. I’ve been very blessed these last 10 years. Rereading that number is incredible because I had to use a wheelchair from ’01 to ’05. 10 years ago I was able to quit using a wheelchair. Wow! I’ve tried to never take for granted what I have because this disease could easily and without notice, remove a number of abilities as it did in years past. The abilities to walk, run, see, swallow and void without the proper tool for example are some things that I could not do for a number of years, so when I could do them again, I’ve tried to always remain grateful and Praise God that those abilities were returned to me and that I still have them 10 years later. The high temperatures of last summer challenged my MS. Obviously we’re months beyond last summer, but I wonder if it’s possible that the high temperatures continue to have a lingering effect on my current state.
I saw my neurologist yesterday and while I was in the waiting room I played an iPad game. Being left-brained, I’m always playing games during which I mentally analyze a number of things that do not have anything to do with the game because I can play the game on ‘automatic pilot’ therefore allowing myself to think on other issues like determining if I’ve created a symptom or whether it was already a symptom. As I was matching tiles, I noticed a feeling in my leg that I hadn’t experienced in years. Numbness and tingling. Then I disregarded what that feeling meant and continued playing. The nurse lead me to a room and I noticed the feeling again. A bit later on my way home from my neurologist’s, I was unsettled about the whole numbness episode because although I was conveniently at his office for an appointment, it seemed he was too quick to prescribe a new bout of treatment. I signed the okay to move forward because I just wanted to get home. I didn’t bother to turn on the radio while driving because I needed to pray and concentrate on what a new treatment might mean. At home I immersed myself into tasks that needed to be done before the weekend began and finally, the dam broke and my eyes sweat (I cried). When I once again acknowledged the unpredictability and reality of my disease, I researched the suggested drug and failed to see any endearing qualities so instead of filling the prescription, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing with exercise and diet.
10 years ago when I got better, I desperately needed a reboot and I quit taking the 13 symptom-chasing drugs that my prior neurologist in Washington kept prescribing for me because I needed to know if those were still necessary. When I quit taking all those drugs, I almost immediately noticed that I felt better. Feeling lucid and NOT feeling like a zombie or I guess what I assume a zombie may feel like, definitely feels better. The list of 14 side-effects of this potential new prescription from my current neurologist included 7 issues that MS currently gives me and upon further reading, those issues would likely be exacerbated with the new prescription! “hmm Let me think about this… gosh, everything sounds very enticing and like something with which I think I should definitely take some risks,” said no reasonable CrusaderJenn EVER. As I’ve already been down the road of drug cocktails and symptom-chasing, I’m content to wait this round out. I understand those who see my decision as foolish. However, please take a moment to understand that I was diagnosed 20 years ago and from MS years 7 through 12, my MS symptoms covered many of those who have a more progressive form of MS. I doubted my own longevity back then and I recently found out that my family also doubted that I’d make it to 30-years-old because my relapsing-remitting MS progressed so badly and so quickly. But God did heal me and here I am 10 years later.
I am a big fan of Pinterest and here’s the link to my MS board. I have to read this board daily as it provides me with a mental boost and some inspiration to keep Fighting the Good Fight.
http://www.pinterest.com/CrusaderJenn/ms-battling-multiple-sclerosis/
Share this:
But wait, there’s more!
Posted by crusaderjennblog in debateable, Faith, Inspiration, life, marriage on January 12, 2015
Oh the madness. It’s too frightening, dysfunctional, maybe even a bit entertaining to hear about this from my husband, B… Oh my poor husband… God clearly has reason for B working there probably because It takes a lot to rattle him and as you may recall, B is currently working for the Wannabe’s unorganized LED light company. You might also recall that OSHA is now involved and that they will be at the Wannabe’s office Wednesday to review the Wannabe’s permits, certifications (of which they have none) and to also interview current employees to understand if OSHA’s operation requirements are being met. The gentleman that was hired at the same time as B, quit today before noon as he’d had enough of the workplace insanity. My husband emailed me all of this during his lunch and said that Rinda is running around like a chicken sans head and desperately trying to make it B’s responsibility to locate the nonexistent document(s) that the Wannabes failed to obtain when they started their business almost five years ago. Remember, B was hired for sales. Well it seems that they’ve NEVER had or been required to have any of the necessary insurances or licenses or permits that are required for operating a business. Hmm, can you spell i-l-l-e-g-a-l?
I am guessing that after D suddenly quit this morning, everything will now fall to B and the unofficial employee/intern R to fix. Unless the owners can go back in time, they are in deep doo-doo. Coming from this company that knows only chaos and mismanagement, God opened the door for B to accept a new position that will begin next week. We are hoping and praying this will be the last and long-awaited position he must take before we move.
Bless D’s heart for sticking around as long as he did and I wish him the best.
.
Share this:
Now OSHA’s involved…
Posted by crusaderjennblog in B, debateable on January 10, 2015
I’m sure you can’t wait to hear the moving update, but after everything that happened this week, we might be in Nevada for a bit longer, which has nothing to do with OSHA. But before I explain the OSHA portion, I should give you the update for B. B was originally hired early November for ‘sales’ at a local (Wannabe) LED light company. I say they are Wannabes because they somehow believe that they are one of the big-boys within their industry, like Philips or GE. On their embellished business cards, they publish factual information about factories with whom they do other business because the Wannabes do not have anything close to a factory as they are existing only out of a 1000 square foot commercial business office with no operating technical equipment. Interesting, isn’t that? The owners have made it plainly evident that although they’re in America, they think they can treat their few employees like slaves yelling at and hovering over them as they run the small business like one of their home-country’s sweat-shops.
The facility is not even operating at a practical level because they are so cheap. The wife explains it’s too expensive to run heat so the facility is always frigid which causes the employees to have to bundle-up and they also can’t turn-on lights because it’s also too expensive. Do you know how challenging it is to wear gloves and use a keyboard or use a computer without light? My husband told them he needs light and the wife provided a night-light for him to use the computer. Yes, seriously. B’s been grateful for the income, but this place is completely dysfunctional. He also said that the husband looks the other way from his wife’s unethical treatment of employees because he’s focused on the technical side of their business and doesn’t want to deal with humans, although he did yell at his wife a few weeks ago (in their native language). B said when they left the office a bit later he asked the intern what they were yelling about, to which the intern said that the husband told his wife, “Quit making everything so difficult for our employees!”
Male Black Widow
Let me introduce you to the black widow spider. These not-so-little mature arachnids with bodies about the size of an average-grape are clearly well-fed and all over the office/storage areas where my husband works. The wife’s critical thinking is severely lacking as her solution to get rid of these venomous spiders is to spray a bug-killer in the air, like when you spray an air-freshener (not directly on the spiders) will somehow eliminate the black widow problematic population for good. I became very concerned obviously because from what B has told me, there are a surplus of harmless males running around spooking everyone, but logic says that where there are males, look a little higher in the building’s corners and there you will realize there are also lots of deadly females.
Female Black Widow
The Wannabes hired my husband and another individual for ‘sales,’ but they are essentially gophers. This is the part where I finally explain OSHA’s involvement. I’m not a fan of big government, but thank goodness that someone has determined that businesses must maintain a minimum level of standards for business operations and treatment of employees. OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) says that employers must provide reasonable levels of safety and operating standards. Black widows are problematic for OSHA. Operating a cold office facility is problematic for OSHA and expecting employees to operate in the dark is also problematic for OSHA. B filed a complaint on the website and explained in detail what ‘s going on. A few days later, OSHA officials showed-up without warning at the Wannabes office. OSHA asked for copies of licenses and permits and B said they must have taken hundreds of pictures of all the nonsense. OSHA is returning next week to interview all employees. The intern is leaving next weekend to visit his home-country and my husband’s last day will also be next week because God answered another prayer for another job for B and then OSHA is also visiting next week. The owners may be shut-down next week also which was never the goal. We’re all for small businesses as we’ve been both an employee and owners of a small business, but there are rules. While the Wannabes were being so smug, they clearly needed to be reeled-in to be told to stop by officials to cease operating without humane standards.
Have you had a similar experience in a job? Share your story. What was your experience with a small businesses? Do you think small businesses should be given a pass because they are small?
~Jenn
Share this:
Panic, averted, not ave… , averted
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family on January 7, 2015
I received a call this morning pertaining to the fact that there would not be a shipment of my MS medication, although, as of yesterday afternoon, I would receive it Thursday. So, when the organization called again today and said there would be an indefinite delay for shipping me my medication, I panicked.
Jenn’s game plan: 1. Panic. 2. Panic more 3. Repeat. When Instead, this should always be my game plan:
However, I did successfully talk myself off of the ledge, took a deep breath and determined I needed a Peppermint Infused Mocha. So I made one. Peppermint Infused Mocha: Mix 1/8 cup half and half with 1/2 to 1 tbsp chocolate syrup, add 1 soft peppermint, then add 1 cup of hot coffee and stir until peppermint is nearly melted. Enjoy. And I did, but then I started to panic again. Peppermint Infused Mochas provide only a minimal level of distraction and comfort and after 4 of these this morning, I determined I should come-up with another game plan. That’s what Russell Wilson would do. But then my defeating thoughts started again… what if I don’t get my medicine this week? Will the delay in taking my injections cause my MS to again relapse? Will I end up in a wheelchair again? This is my ongoing problem: I go from zero to apocalyptic in 0.001 seconds. Until roughly two years ago, I was never a worrier because I took comfort in knowing that regardless of what I did, there were many things out of my control and back then I easily let-go of things and stepped aside for God to control.
It’s been interesting and eye-opening when I think back through recent years and review my decision-making where health is concerned. For the last decade, when fall arrived, I ALWAYS got a flu-shot. But last September, I put my tradition on hold as I questioned whether I was trusting God to keep me healthy or putting my trust in a vaccine. I know that God gives us common-sense and common-sense says to get a flu shot because rumor has it that the current flu-strain is awful. So I should get a shot. But considering we’re on a very tight budget, I shouldn’t get a flu-shot, but can I afford not to? Which says, get a flu-shot, but does that say that I don’t trust God with my health? But then, but this, but that, and the list goes on and I go back and forth. I fully understand that I still lack control of nearly everything, but here I am and as always I am an ongoing WIP (Work-In-Progress) to immerse myself completely in trusting God.
It’s become obvious to myself that I trusted God years ago to get me out of the wheelchair and he did that. Praise God for such a wonderful blessing, but I’m ashamed to admit that my trust is lacking with everything else, like getting us moved back to Washington and keeping our own little family and critters healthy. I’m also ashamed to admit that I have this mentality that because I was the recipient of such an amazing blessing when God allowed my health to improve so drastically, that I do not qualify for any additional blessings. But I know better than to think like that because we are promised in Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV that, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works so that no one can boast.”
Jesus dying on the cross, forgave what I did and what I will do as long as I confess. Grace is about what He did and that cannot ever be earned. When Jesus died on the cross for me and everyone else, that was never earned, but I still received that precious gift. Therefore, I have to believe that receiving healing was also not earned and that I just need to rest in peace that regardless of whatever challenges may come up for me or my family, his grace will sustain.
~Jenn
Share this:
Football is not a mathematical equation
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Football, life, marriage on December 31, 2014
Since August and having had my very own fantasy football team this year, I’ve been committed to learning football (finally) for the 2014-2015 season, although I’m confident that it will take more than a single season to get me to where I’m not consistently interrupting a game to ask questions about why this or that is or is not a penalty. My husband will attest to the fact that for nearly two decades, I’ve been unimpressed by the sport and thought little of bothering to learn. I knew a few basics, but because of my left-brainness those basics never computed to my sense of logic, so understandably, I disregarded the whole idea of adding any football knowledge to the mix. For starters, in football, there is a quarterback, a halfback and a fullback. But there is no three-quarters back position. I would like to understand why there is this position deficit. Then, there is the tight end position. The logical counterpart position would suggest that there is also a player who is the loose end, but there is no such position. What I have learned for certain is that this learning process is irrelevant because the only thing that ultimately matters is whether a team wins. I must make sense of get-over the senseless mathematics of football positions.
As a Washingtonian, my logical allegiance is to support the Seattle Seahawks and this year from afar obviously, I have gotten to know Coach Pete Carroll and how the team conducts themselves. Russell Wilson is my favorite, but I’m also a big fan of other players like Marshawn Lynch Beast Mode and his 79 yard touchdown in the recent game against Arizona. Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas, Doug Baldwin, Kam Chancellor and Luke Willson are additional players with whom I’m becoming more knowledgeable. Win or loss, I will support them. I refuse to be one of those fans who doles-out support conditionally. The above is my first method of showing support for the Seattle Seahawks, with a rear-window decal on my rig. This is my rig and not my husband’s. Besides, he supports Oakland. Thank you, Sweetheart for patiently guiding me through my first NFL season. GO HAWKS!
~Jenn
Share this:
Sisters, Sisters, there were never such devoted sisters
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family, growing-up, Jesus, life, lifestyle on December 30, 2014
Even with 5 years between us, my younger sister and I have a good relationship and I’ve missed her terribly for the past few years being 1000 miles away. Growing up we loved each other, although we fought as siblings do and made-up when my Mom always lectured, “She’s the only sister you’ll ever have.” When Jackie entered first grade many moons ago, at the same private school where I was, I didn’t hesitate to protect her from the line of boys pursuing her. Being older, I was my sister’s first line of defense against boys. She always remained picture-perfect in her dresses, unlike me. It took many years to finally see it, but when I did, I shook my head in disgust. Maybe at myself for obtaining less mud and grass stains on my clothes than the boys while we played red-rover-red-rover/softball/soccer-take your pick or perhaps it was with my Mom for having high expectations of me coming home spotless like Jackie. The most likely scenario for my Mom was recognizing that the countless hours she spent sewing together pieces of fabric to create beautiful dresses like the following were completely irrelevant to me.
As hard as I tried as a kid, this broad-shouldered girl was not demure and I found myself rather confused by all the pig-tailed girls like my sister who were. My goal at recess was to play and play hard, which included returning from recess with a sweaty red face, which equaled intense fun. If grass and mud-stains could be graded at a private school surrounded by acres of grass, I was the valedictorian. Grass stains on my dresses and holes in my tights were consistent. I remember my Mom being horrified when she discovered (after many months) that I came up with what I thought was a grand idea to wear shorts under my dresses and over my tights. For what? To prevent boys from seeing my Underoos when I flipped upside-down from or climbed on top of the Monkey Bars. While wearing a dress. Duh. Meanwhile, my sister likely spent recess with her friends picking dandelions and frolicking. Another pastime at recess was locating who was in trouble and was pounding the chalk out of the erasers at the end of the building because I discovered those little piles of chalk-dust were tasty, or maybe I thought that a saliva coated finger dipped in chalk dust tasted just like Fun Dip. Don’t judge. It’s no different than eating glue paste. I was a good kid and harmless, but I could find trouble or create it with some hair-brained ideas – like the self-made Fun (Chalk) Dip. While I was at school finding shenanigans, my sister was being her teacher’s pet and very helpful passing out things to her classmates or playing the ideal daughter at home as she played with her collection of Barbies.
Through it all, my sister and I survived. I mentioned Jackie’s survival also because I was almost five when Jackie was born and shortly after meeting my new sister, I attempted to help feed her a whole dinner-roll. My Mom caught me ‘helping’ my sister and found it in her heart to NOT cease my breathing-habit despite my misguided efforts to feed my baby-sister solids way too soon. I also ran over her on my bike – not to be mean, but she got in my way and I couldn’t stop quickly enough. Speaking of bikes, I think we were one of the last generations to ride bikes sans helmets. And lived to tell about it. I think we were also one of the last generations who got away with chewing ABC (Already Been Chewed) gum that we innocently discovered on the ground or found stuck to the underside of desks in school. Not to mention how many times lollipops were dropped on the ground, wiped-off and shoved back into our mouths. We survived. A little gravel in the diet was probably good for a colon-cleansing. I would insert an amusing Saturday Night Live parody commercial here for Quarry Breakfast Cereal, but it seems that all links are blocked for copyrighted material on YouTube. Even in the midst of our ignorance, I suspect our foolishness contributed to strengthening our immune systems and we didn’t even have antibacterial hand sanitizer. Yet, somehow we prevailed…
My sister and I could not be more different. I was athletic and therefore, a tom-boy She was and still remains a girly-girl, although with my precious niece and nephew in-tow, ruffles aren’t nearly as practical these days. I read her blog and I don’t want to say that I’m proud because I have no right to be, but I am impressed. She’s a busy stay-at-home-Mom with a six year-old and a two year-old in-tow, creating meal-plans, running a successful blog about life as a Wife and Mommy, that is filled with pictures of her family, creative projects, and dishes she’s made, which includes the recipes. Then there’s me who is not nearly as refined. Me caveman.
Dress-up!I have a great deal of wonderful memories that include Jackie – camping, putting-on shows for our parents with duds from our chest of props and accessories (wigs gowns, etc.), going to the theater to see The Lion King and being the Maid/Matron of Honor in each other’s weddings, scrap-booking… The list goes on and on, but obviously as much as we differ, we’re still bonded and have a great deal in common. I love my sister dearly and am grateful for our relationship.
Jenn
Share this:
All over the map
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family, Inspiration, lifestyle, MS, prayer on December 27, 2014
Competitive swimming from grade school through part of college – think hundreds of laps daily and nearly Olympic trials level fast – not slowly floating across the pool on a noodle (that many sadly call ‘swimming,’) piano, flute, 4-H-sewing and cooking and finally Jazz dance, which would be close to the equivalent of today’s hip-hop genre, were my extra-curricular activities growing up. I had just turned 8 or 9 when I completed the Red Cross certified swimming courses and my stay-at-home Mom was desperate to enroll me in something that would keep me out of trouble busy so she spoke to my final instructor who was also a coach with the swim team newbies and suggested I try-out for the local club. I immediately took to competitive swimming, which required little time to learn backward and forward flip-turns so I could keep up with the circle of other swimmers at my level. My parent’s ongoing joke was that I was born with webbed feet. So seriously, Mom & Dad, with the umpteen number number of hours in the pool each week, was there even the slightest possibility that I wasn’t?
Swimming continues to be one of my favorite activities and ‘back-in-the-day’ I became somewhat of an aquatics guru within my family, who looked to me to life-guard cousin’s birthday related pool-parties and instruct the how-to’s of swimming and water-skiing to my little sister and younger cousins. In college I continued to swim with the early morning Masters team. Many years later when we moved to Nevada, we noticed many homes have pools and when we bought our home a few years ago, we were very excited to have our own. From mid-spring through late-summer, the outdoor temperatures maintain around 103 and as it’s too expensive to run air conditioning full-time. Therefore, the pool provides a perfect relief to cooling-down my core. MS has altered my body’s ability to self-regulate my core so when I become warm, I’m technically overheated, making our pool’s cool temperature a tremendous source of relief and blessing with those high outdoor temperatures for 6 months. Other than swimming during the hot temperatures, I’m embarrassed to admit I do very little any more.
Obviously, I had the ability to commit long-term to activities while growing-up, but because of MS and what it’s taken from me, my interests are really all over the map. I think my abilities prior to MS taking me backward have unfortunately dictated what I can or cannot do. I was never a quitter and I have my folks to thank for instilling in me a stick-to-it attitude, but there have been several activities that I began and quit because of MS ‘issues.’ For example, I discovered and indulged my love for stamping cards and book marks, but when the tremors ataxia started where my hands shook badly, it became impossible to accurately place rubber stamps. This caused what I had hoped to call ‘artistic creations’ to become somewhat of a mess, resembling over-priced pieces of abstract art, at which point, my neurologist gave me yet another MS related symptom-chasing drug to lessen the shaking, which helped, but at a sacrifice because of the cocktail of drugs. I was rarely coherent appearing somewhat of a zombie with my glazed-over eyes. And I quit stamping. However, I could make a mean martini – shaken, not stirred became my joke because “If I can’t laugh, I may cry,” and I really try to limit that tissue-requiring activity. I also tried my hand at becoming an independent beauty consultant for a big corporation (whose reps are rewarded with pink cars), but eye-make up was a joke to apply because of that whole fine-motor-skills lacking hand stability. Then, I became a cooking rep for a company that specialized in quick mixes to create tasty dishes. Although I had fun and was successful, that was also short-lived when I had to give-up driving. My attitude was that as much as I still wanted my ‘right’ to be independent to drive, other cars/pedestrians had the right to be safe when my increasing foot/leg ataxia became hazardous to controlling the correct pedals. And I quit driving.
2015 will mark 10 years ago that God provided healing and pulled me from my wheelchair, but I have nothing to show for it, except several activities in which I invested, only to quit. Beading was another post-wheelchair favorite, but short-lived activity as I attended bead-shows and then created beautiful bracelets and earrings. At the same time I came from the wheelchair, I quit the the numerous symptom-chasing prescription drugs because I was tired of feeling like the undead. Although I was lucid, my hand stability was only achieved after a couple of glasses of wine. That became somewhat of a big discovery. I could be a creative, but functioning drunk or a non-lucid undead human… That was an obvious choice. I have continually returned to writing and I made a goal 10 years ago to write my encouraging story, but I lost my inspiration. Writing has been a passion since grade-school, but in junior high there was an adult and best friend who ganged-up on me to tell me that I was wasting my time at which point , I guess I gave-up on it, although I would still scribble-out ideas and write creatively, from time to time. That was very much ‘my bad’ for giving into believing their discouragement and I’ve learned to ignore those voices or mentally give the middle finger salute to those inner voices who say I can’t or that I’m wasting my time.
I realize that I must continue to actively learn something – anything productive. I did online courses a couple of years ago in which I discovered I’m completely left-brained. Thank you, Dad, who is an engineer. It feels great to be learning and I’ve tossed around the idea of learning to use a knitting loom as it doesn’t require fine-motor-skills. I may also again attempt to bead or stamp as my ataxia seems to be becoming less of an issue… Praise God because martini-making provides a very limited skill-set. I’ll keep you posted on what activity has gained my attention…
Jenn
crusaderjennblog 
