Posts Tagged religion
I am the worst blogger. Ever.
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family, health, Inspiration, life, marriage, MS on May 12, 2015
Updating and sharing… I get so caught-up in doing irrelevant tasks like decorating the house (as I should have done years ago) and baking and currently researching to understand trends, that when I’m riding such a wave of momentum that I cannot stop or maybe I don’t stop? Shortly after I completed the ‘making our house a home’ ordeal back in early April, I was able to again join a gym. I’ve missed that daily habit for several years and when my MS improved back in ’05 and we were still in WA, I joined a gym and enlisted the help of a trainer who coincidentally also has MS, and provided me with a detailed program of cardio exercises, strength-building and toning exercises for me to keep some level of strength. But, since moving, I really had not been in a gym in years. I’m thankful most of the strength that I’d built remained during my gym absence and I was able to work the same major and minor muscle groups each day that I did earlier, so it took only a couple of weeks to get back into the habit in 2015. So once again these activities became part of my current routine with lifting four days a week, and doing between 7-10 miles of cardio on my recumbent bike at home daily.
Another project that’s had my ongoing attention is getting our pool ready for Pool-Season. During winter and early spring, there’s a minor level of maintenance required except after days of excessive wind and leaves blowing into the pool a few days each month. We had a couple of weeks of windy weather in late April, which resulted in a slightly cloudy pool from all the dust and then the vacuüm stopped working, but was not clogged so I enlisted a professional to diagnose our pool’s problem. I didn’t know what I didn’t know and I hate to claim ignorance, but there were a few steps that went ignored with our pool maintenance. So after cleaning the filters and getting ALL the appropriate equipment, with my newly acquired knowledge of ALL the steps, the pool is running just fine for the coming summer Pool-Season, which now that we’re consistently involved with our small group from church and they’re aware of our pool, there are definite expectations of us hosting pool-related barbecues/get-togethers.
Also relating to Pool-Season, my hair is short again. Long hair gets hot on my neck and I gripe about it for a month, even with it pulled-up in a pony-tail and I finally give in to getting it cut. It’ll grow back, unless I determine the shorter do is a keeper… Another thing is for years, my sister has been on me to watch Mad Men and a couple of weeks ago, B and I tried it a third time and well…we’re finally in. Jon Hamm is gorgeous, which has nothing to do with anything, but have you seen “Million Dollar Arm”? He’s definitely also a DB in that film just like he is in MM… And Peggy? Why didn’t anyone catch-on to her being pregnant? I called that long before she even started showing… Speaking of pregnancy, my sister is due in August and we’re once again attempting to adopt, but this time is different so more on that later.
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Let’s talk about intentions
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, marriage on February 5, 2015
Merriam Webster’s website (2015) defines intention as a noun and “something you aim to do” or a “purpose.” I believe that most people hope and aim to do their best and make intentions / commitments accordingly, therefore one might say that, “They had the best INTENTIONS.” I occasionally hear and read emails from or about people admitting to an event or something they intended to do, but obviously failed since the word was in the past-tense. Failed intentions are quickly given a pass because that wasn’t their, let’s say it together, INTENTION. The word is over-used and loosely-used to excuse an over-commitment (lie) / bad behavior or a failure. Now I’m confident that there are a great many who will call me judgmental and say I lack tolerance of people’s situations and go on to say that I must be perfect, blah, blah blah… I am far from perfection, but as a Christian, I try to do better than the day before and never over-commit. I was once one of those obtuse folks who over-committed and later canceled last-minute because I had the best of intentions to participate in making some donated goodies, for example, or however I committed only to later realize I committed to an activity in which I aimed to participate, that I really never had any intention of being involved. Okay, now get over yourself because you wouldn’t be that defensive if you weren’t also guilty of this.
At one time, I intended / committed to make cookies every Sunday for our old church. It was a small church and I needed to make only seven dozen cookies, which I often made every Saturday-night for the next morning. Considering how much I love baking, it was a very small act of service, but there came a point a few months later after doing this every weekend when I became bored and would cancel because I just didn’t feel like baking. Granted I had health issues that were becoming a contributing factor in this, but I should have resigned from my commitment ahead of time instead of being proud and stubborn. I spoke with someone about this and Mickey pointed out to me that intentions can go either way – we either do what we committed to do or we intend to not follow-through. When he further explained that it’s either/or or pass/fail, my eyes were opened more widely because I think like many, we think our intentions outweigh outcomes. But they do not.
About intentions in marriage…
Commitments / intentions should be as solid as your marriage vows and upheld. You make a commitment to your spouse and you should do whatever you have to to make sure you do not fail. Obviously, emergencies happen and must be accommodated, but a commitment remains a commitment. Over recent months this has become somewhat of a thing in my marriage. We’re working on 19 years together, but it’s been fairly consistent during only the last couple of years that B’s intentions to do something for me have some sort of ‘optional’ clause to not follow-through, perhaps? It is a bit hurtful, I admit, but because he intended to follow-through, I think he thinks that he should receive points for the intention, I guess? Now these broken commitments are small in the grand scheme and are not by any means divorce-worthy. However, it remains hurtful that I might have become somewhat of a sacrifice, as he makes sure he follows-through with each commitment beyond us. Perhaps he doesn’t want to appear a flake among coworkers or peers?
It’s interesting that people have such varying perspectives on intentions with spouses. For one individual, an intention to a spouse is as good as a signed contract and they will move mountains to ensure the intention/commitment remains unbroken, but for another, who sees their spouse as ‘just my husband’ or ‘just my wife,’ they have given themselves the option to fail [Stop taking your spouse for granted!], when it should be the complete opposite as they should elevate their spouse’s importance instead of diminishing it. Commitments to a spouse to fix an appliance or prepare a platter of goodies for coworkers or whatever the task is should be more important than commitments to non-spouses since you’re married to one and only work with or for another. I’ve never understood those who say things like that because essentially, they have lessened their spouses role and therefore their spouse’s value. Many years ago, I attended a work-related event with my husband and when his boss walked-up and asked who I was, I smiled and said, “I’m just B’s wife, Jennifer.” B’s boss responded with, “Hmm, you mean you ARE his wife and not just his wife…” That might have been eye-opening for me because there I was speaking condescendingly about myself.
Now, I must explain that my husband is NOT a monster. I think at times his focus gets wrapped-up in whatever project has his attention and that he doesn’t see the looming ‘something’s got to give’ warning sign up ahead. Unfortunately, that something is most often me because typically I am an understanding wife I attempt to be an understanding wife. I suspect there might be a few others in a similar situation and am curious how you address a concern with your spouse or do you prefer to avoid it? What is your best approach? What is your coping-mechanism? I like wine, which may or may not be relevant in this situation, but I believe that I just stumbled upon another blog-post idea…
~Jenn
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What I learned from football…
Posted by crusaderjennblog in family, Football on February 3, 2015
…is that nearly everyone is a coach [Monday Morning Quarterbacks, you know who you are]. This is my final take-away from watching the entire season of games. Last Sunday’s Super Bowl ended my first complete NFL season of watching, following and learning. I’m obviously far from being an expert like you, but are not most of us who lack the history of EVER being an NFL coach? I posted to Facebook immediately following the Hawks loss to New England, something short – ‘Great game Hawks and Congrats Patriots,’ but couldn’t believe the feed posted relating to the Hawk’s losing the big game that demanded immediate termination of Pete Carroll. Those same individuals (guilty of Monday Morning quarterbacking) generously gave away what other play shoulda (should have) happened that coulda (could have) and woulda (would have) guaranteed a repeat of the Hawks winning another championship game last Sunday. [Apparently, I am surrounded by seers and clairvoyants.] Do you Monday Morning quarterbacks really think Coach Carroll failed to consider ALL the play options? It would seem a great many of you non-coaching experts like to coach from the sidelines of the social network. And since you are clearly clairvoyant, have some confidence in your abilities to foresee outcomes while also having the cojones to put your ability to use publicly so you can gain some credibility and so we can avoid the shoulda, coulda, woulda conversations in the future. Capisce? I’m just another fan (not a Monday morning or any other day of the week quarterback), who suggests that perhaps your lack of confidence in your own team assessments is more of an indication that you’re symptomatic for possibly being passive aggressive since you’re a heckler style of coach, rather than taking your team management and play concerns directly to the coach personally…
So should I suggest, “Shame on Mr. Carroll for failing to consider ALL the social network suggestions?” No, but then, I also really doubt that Pete Carroll suffers from any level of short-shortsightedness or he wouldn’t be allowed to continue coaching. Right? In several articles, Coach Carroll took full responsibility for making the call on what final play the Seahawks attempted. “I made the decision,” Carroll said. “I said, ‘Throw the ball,’ and we went with the play that we thought would give us a chance to get in the end zone. We had great match ups for the call that we made, and it didn’t work out. They made a better play than we did.” (O’Connor, ESPN, 2015) And Pete Carroll has the experience and credibility required as a paid coach to make that determination of which play to execute and when. The play didn’t win the game and that was disappointing, but the majority of us were NOT on the field next to him to offer our not-so-news-worthy insight and therefore, failed to see the ENTIRE picture of what lead to Coach Carroll’s determination.
I noticed that In addition to you Monday morning quarterbacks, apparently all you wannabe coaches are really coaches masquerading in a number of day-jobs, like entrepreneurs or working for ‘the man.’ Who would have thought that there are so many of these professionals who are really coaches in-disguise? But even more surprising was that some of these individuals have the time to successfully do so many jobs – your paid position, your football analysis position and then also act as an unpaid wannabe coach – in addition to having families. Wow! Y’all are setting the bar pretty high for simpletons like me who just want to be entertained watching a fantastic team who wants to win a game, but then I’m really just another fan who believes that those who are in the actual position of Coach – like Pete Carroll – he probably has the required qualifications to…well…Coach. So I propose instead of coaching from the sidelines like a heckler, confront the Hawk’s GM John Schneider and prove that you’re more qualified than the team’s current coach because your coaching expertise is clearly under-utilized as your wannabe coaching from a social network’s sidelines might indicate. Best of luck obtaining the position and I’ll look for your name on next season’s roster. Go Hawks!
If your ability as a clairvoyant suggested the majority of this was going to be sarcastic, congratulation for reading the obvious.
Do you also find Monday morning quarterbacks annoying? Please explain.
~Jenn
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Last weekend the Seahawks Won because of me
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, Football on January 25, 2015
I’m not so self-important to really think that I had anything to do with the Hawk’s win against the Packers last Sunday, but I do think God did allow them to win for me. The last few years my faith has been inconsistent and consistently wavering. At some point, I somehow started believing that blessings from God were performance-based. I know that my assessment of performance-based blessing is entirely false and thank God! I’m thankful He doesn’t work like that because if that were true, there’s no possibility that I would ever or could ever be blessed. Then I have to remind myself that I never deserved to be healed, but God healed the status of MS so I could walk again and not require a wheelchair full-time. I also must keep reminding myself that God continues working in my life and I also never deserved any of these ongoing blessings. So when I was watching the game last Sunday and saw the Hawks on their way to a loss in the last quarter, I kept saying to myself that my God is a God of miracles as He’s shown me with my health that miracles clearly happen. I prayed for and asked God, while also believing in a miracle that the Seahawks could still win the game.
And they did. Despite the great point deficit. Congratulations, Seahawks and know I’m praying for another win against the Patriots next weekend! GO HAWKS! Regardless of whether God allowed the Seahawks to win for me or because of my tiny faith, God knew I needed a little encouragement and through that answer, God met me where I was in my wavering mustard seed faith. Although I’m near the US gambling capital where I could have put a penny on Seattle to win, I’m confident that I wasn’t the only non-betting person praying for the Hawks to come out on top. I also believe that God knew I desperately needed something to hold onto and for him to show me He’s still in control and that despite myself, He heard even my little prayer for an irrelevant football game outcome. Thank you, Lord – I needed that. I know that positive answer helped to confirm and re-energize my faith in an unseen God who WILL move us back to WA, but I must be patient in also having faith in his perfect timing. Thank you again, Lord Jesus!
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Product review – we have a Bunn verdict
Posted by crusaderjennblog in family, life on January 22, 2015
Good morning! In December, I blogged about receiving a fabulous Keurig for Christmas from my folks and then we promptly returned it to Costco when the water pump failed less than a week later. We did some research and ordered through a commercial restaurant supplier a Bunn K-cup maker when we found the Bunn maintained much higher ratings than the our late Keurig. B and I received the Bunn shipment at the beginning of January and after many uses, I guess I’m here to recommend the device. Bottom line – the Bunn K-cup coffee-maker works and continues to function properly going on three weeks now. The Bunn might be considered a commercial device and so the attractive nature is nonexistent with the practicality being the more important issue as the Bunn continues to function as it’s supposed to. You can see in the picture that there’s is nothing stylish about the practical Bunn that says, “Fun!” But it works. And the speed at which it makes a cup of coffee is about 100 seconds from loading 1 of 4 appropriate ready trays (for K-cup/tea-bag/water/fresh grounds), to the push of the start button to the final pour from the maker into the coffee-cup, to the stir-in of 1/2 and 1/2 before taking a first sip and combined with a slice of yesterday’s fresh Pumpkin Bread… Not too shabby. That’ll do pig – oops sorry, wrong movie, Jenn!
I realize my one little complaint about the Bunn is going to come across trivial, but I’m saying it anyway. I must refill the Bunn’s shallow water reservoir for every cup I wish to make. Every cup! Yes, I was a little spoiled with the Bunn’s late predecessor’s huge water reservoir and yes, I realize that factor would be considered a very minor inconvenience. Because it is a very minor inconvenience, but it remains an inconvenience nonetheless. However, I will still recommend the Bunn with 5 out of 5 stars.
~Jenn
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Shaking it off
Posted by crusaderjennblog in debateable, Inspiration, Music Monday on January 19, 2015
This isn’t a ‘traditional’ Music Monday post as I’ve suggested I will share the first Monday of each Month. This link came across my email over the weekend and it’s too amusing to NOT share with y’all. I suspect that nearly everyone is familiar with Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off.” With all the negativity and awful press that many officers receive, I thought this was an appropriate cop’s response to those bandwaggoners who maintain the ignorance that all cops are bad:
Thank you to all the men and women who’ve lost their lives and who continue to place their their lives on-the-line each day to protect and serve. Thank you also to the officer in the video who maintained a great sense of humor lip-syncing, “Shake It Off.”
To those who believe cops shouldn’t carry or use weapons, I ask if you think officers can realistically protect by carrying only non-deadly mace to spray at perps or protect using a tranquilizer gun to hopefully only stun a criminal, if the officer happens to gain clear access, while you’re being held at gunpoint, for example? Or, is a cop only obligated to protect you and not also protect him or herself?
~Jenn
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Is the potential to make things worse, worth the risk?
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family, Jesus, MS on January 17, 2015
I’ve been in the middle of using those critical thinking skills and I think because of my tendency to analyze and reanalyze in all numbers of equations, those skills only become more and sharper to more quickly come to reasonable conclusions. I’ve been very blessed these last 10 years. Rereading that number is incredible because I had to use a wheelchair from ’01 to ’05. 10 years ago I was able to quit using a wheelchair. Wow! I’ve tried to never take for granted what I have because this disease could easily and without notice, remove a number of abilities as it did in years past. The abilities to walk, run, see, swallow and void without the proper tool for example are some things that I could not do for a number of years, so when I could do them again, I’ve tried to always remain grateful and Praise God that those abilities were returned to me and that I still have them 10 years later. The high temperatures of last summer challenged my MS. Obviously we’re months beyond last summer, but I wonder if it’s possible that the high temperatures continue to have a lingering effect on my current state.
I saw my neurologist yesterday and while I was in the waiting room I played an iPad game. Being left-brained, I’m always playing games during which I mentally analyze a number of things that do not have anything to do with the game because I can play the game on ‘automatic pilot’ therefore allowing myself to think on other issues like determining if I’ve created a symptom or whether it was already a symptom. As I was matching tiles, I noticed a feeling in my leg that I hadn’t experienced in years. Numbness and tingling. Then I disregarded what that feeling meant and continued playing. The nurse lead me to a room and I noticed the feeling again. A bit later on my way home from my neurologist’s, I was unsettled about the whole numbness episode because although I was conveniently at his office for an appointment, it seemed he was too quick to prescribe a new bout of treatment. I signed the okay to move forward because I just wanted to get home. I didn’t bother to turn on the radio while driving because I needed to pray and concentrate on what a new treatment might mean. At home I immersed myself into tasks that needed to be done before the weekend began and finally, the dam broke and my eyes sweat (I cried). When I once again acknowledged the unpredictability and reality of my disease, I researched the suggested drug and failed to see any endearing qualities so instead of filling the prescription, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing with exercise and diet.
10 years ago when I got better, I desperately needed a reboot and I quit taking the 13 symptom-chasing drugs that my prior neurologist in Washington kept prescribing for me because I needed to know if those were still necessary. When I quit taking all those drugs, I almost immediately noticed that I felt better. Feeling lucid and NOT feeling like a zombie or I guess what I assume a zombie may feel like, definitely feels better. The list of 14 side-effects of this potential new prescription from my current neurologist included 7 issues that MS currently gives me and upon further reading, those issues would likely be exacerbated with the new prescription! “hmm Let me think about this… gosh, everything sounds very enticing and like something with which I think I should definitely take some risks,” said no reasonable CrusaderJenn EVER. As I’ve already been down the road of drug cocktails and symptom-chasing, I’m content to wait this round out. I understand those who see my decision as foolish. However, please take a moment to understand that I was diagnosed 20 years ago and from MS years 7 through 12, my MS symptoms covered many of those who have a more progressive form of MS. I doubted my own longevity back then and I recently found out that my family also doubted that I’d make it to 30-years-old because my relapsing-remitting MS progressed so badly and so quickly. But God did heal me and here I am 10 years later.
I am a big fan of Pinterest and here’s the link to my MS board. I have to read this board daily as it provides me with a mental boost and some inspiration to keep Fighting the Good Fight.
http://www.pinterest.com/CrusaderJenn/ms-battling-multiple-sclerosis/
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Now OSHA’s involved…
Posted by crusaderjennblog in B, debateable on January 10, 2015
I’m sure you can’t wait to hear the moving update, but after everything that happened this week, we might be in Nevada for a bit longer, which has nothing to do with OSHA. But before I explain the OSHA portion, I should give you the update for B. B was originally hired early November for ‘sales’ at a local (Wannabe) LED light company. I say they are Wannabes because they somehow believe that they are one of the big-boys within their industry, like Philips or GE. On their embellished business cards, they publish factual information about factories with whom they do other business because the Wannabes do not have anything close to a factory as they are existing only out of a 1000 square foot commercial business office with no operating technical equipment. Interesting, isn’t that? The owners have made it plainly evident that although they’re in America, they think they can treat their few employees like slaves yelling at and hovering over them as they run the small business like one of their home-country’s sweat-shops.
The facility is not even operating at a practical level because they are so cheap. The wife explains it’s too expensive to run heat so the facility is always frigid which causes the employees to have to bundle-up and they also can’t turn-on lights because it’s also too expensive. Do you know how challenging it is to wear gloves and use a keyboard or use a computer without light? My husband told them he needs light and the wife provided a night-light for him to use the computer. Yes, seriously. B’s been grateful for the income, but this place is completely dysfunctional. He also said that the husband looks the other way from his wife’s unethical treatment of employees because he’s focused on the technical side of their business and doesn’t want to deal with humans, although he did yell at his wife a few weeks ago (in their native language). B said when they left the office a bit later he asked the intern what they were yelling about, to which the intern said that the husband told his wife, “Quit making everything so difficult for our employees!”
Male Black Widow
Let me introduce you to the black widow spider. These not-so-little mature arachnids with bodies about the size of an average-grape are clearly well-fed and all over the office/storage areas where my husband works. The wife’s critical thinking is severely lacking as her solution to get rid of these venomous spiders is to spray a bug-killer in the air, like when you spray an air-freshener (not directly on the spiders) will somehow eliminate the black widow problematic population for good. I became very concerned obviously because from what B has told me, there are a surplus of harmless males running around spooking everyone, but logic says that where there are males, look a little higher in the building’s corners and there you will realize there are also lots of deadly females.
Female Black Widow
The Wannabes hired my husband and another individual for ‘sales,’ but they are essentially gophers. This is the part where I finally explain OSHA’s involvement. I’m not a fan of big government, but thank goodness that someone has determined that businesses must maintain a minimum level of standards for business operations and treatment of employees. OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) says that employers must provide reasonable levels of safety and operating standards. Black widows are problematic for OSHA. Operating a cold office facility is problematic for OSHA and expecting employees to operate in the dark is also problematic for OSHA. B filed a complaint on the website and explained in detail what ‘s going on. A few days later, OSHA officials showed-up without warning at the Wannabes office. OSHA asked for copies of licenses and permits and B said they must have taken hundreds of pictures of all the nonsense. OSHA is returning next week to interview all employees. The intern is leaving next weekend to visit his home-country and my husband’s last day will also be next week because God answered another prayer for another job for B and then OSHA is also visiting next week. The owners may be shut-down next week also which was never the goal. We’re all for small businesses as we’ve been both an employee and owners of a small business, but there are rules. While the Wannabes were being so smug, they clearly needed to be reeled-in to be told to stop by officials to cease operating without humane standards.
Have you had a similar experience in a job? Share your story. What was your experience with a small businesses? Do you think small businesses should be given a pass because they are small?
~Jenn
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Panic, averted, not ave… , averted
Posted by crusaderjennblog in Faith, family on January 7, 2015
I received a call this morning pertaining to the fact that there would not be a shipment of my MS medication, although, as of yesterday afternoon, I would receive it Thursday. So, when the organization called again today and said there would be an indefinite delay for shipping me my medication, I panicked.
Jenn’s game plan: 1. Panic. 2. Panic more 3. Repeat. When Instead, this should always be my game plan:
However, I did successfully talk myself off of the ledge, took a deep breath and determined I needed a Peppermint Infused Mocha. So I made one. Peppermint Infused Mocha: Mix 1/8 cup half and half with 1/2 to 1 tbsp chocolate syrup, add 1 soft peppermint, then add 1 cup of hot coffee and stir until peppermint is nearly melted. Enjoy. And I did, but then I started to panic again. Peppermint Infused Mochas provide only a minimal level of distraction and comfort and after 4 of these this morning, I determined I should come-up with another game plan. That’s what Russell Wilson would do. But then my defeating thoughts started again… what if I don’t get my medicine this week? Will the delay in taking my injections cause my MS to again relapse? Will I end up in a wheelchair again? This is my ongoing problem: I go from zero to apocalyptic in 0.001 seconds. Until roughly two years ago, I was never a worrier because I took comfort in knowing that regardless of what I did, there were many things out of my control and back then I easily let-go of things and stepped aside for God to control.
It’s been interesting and eye-opening when I think back through recent years and review my decision-making where health is concerned. For the last decade, when fall arrived, I ALWAYS got a flu-shot. But last September, I put my tradition on hold as I questioned whether I was trusting God to keep me healthy or putting my trust in a vaccine. I know that God gives us common-sense and common-sense says to get a flu shot because rumor has it that the current flu-strain is awful. So I should get a shot. But considering we’re on a very tight budget, I shouldn’t get a flu-shot, but can I afford not to? Which says, get a flu-shot, but does that say that I don’t trust God with my health? But then, but this, but that, and the list goes on and I go back and forth. I fully understand that I still lack control of nearly everything, but here I am and as always I am an ongoing WIP (Work-In-Progress) to immerse myself completely in trusting God.
It’s become obvious to myself that I trusted God years ago to get me out of the wheelchair and he did that. Praise God for such a wonderful blessing, but I’m ashamed to admit that my trust is lacking with everything else, like getting us moved back to Washington and keeping our own little family and critters healthy. I’m also ashamed to admit that I have this mentality that because I was the recipient of such an amazing blessing when God allowed my health to improve so drastically, that I do not qualify for any additional blessings. But I know better than to think like that because we are promised in Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV that, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works so that no one can boast.”
Jesus dying on the cross, forgave what I did and what I will do as long as I confess. Grace is about what He did and that cannot ever be earned. When Jesus died on the cross for me and everyone else, that was never earned, but I still received that precious gift. Therefore, I have to believe that receiving healing was also not earned and that I just need to rest in peace that regardless of whatever challenges may come up for me or my family, his grace will sustain.
~Jenn
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